Sunday, 15th December 2019
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| My first family Christmas photo this year - there will be more, for sure. |
Another week has passed and it's now only 10 days to Christmas. It's also just over a week since my dearest friend Fátima passed away. I still can't believe it. She is forever in my thoughts. I think of her with joy but also with a heavy heart. I wake up in the night to remember she is no longer with us and when I wake up every morning that is the first thought I have. It's been a very hard week. It's hard to think I cannot pop round to her house, send her a whatsapp, give her a call, meet for a coffee or have lunch together anymore. None of these things will ever be possible again. It's easy to be told that she will be looking down at us and that we carry her in our heart. I'm sorry but the worst thing is that we will never ever see her again. That I cannot get over. I read our messages over and over again, look at our photos and yes they help but I shall never accept the fact that she went too early in life.
Her daughter, Fátima or "Fatimina" as we often call her, seems as strong as her mother. On the outside she is all warmth, love, light and positiveness. No doubt she suffers in silence. Now I want to be closer to her and her family. So last Sunday when she came for tea with her dear cousin, Sara, who is like a sister to her, we spent a wonderful afternoon together remembering her mother, the good times, her death and many other things. It's easy to talk to her as it was easy to talk to her mother.
Last Sunday for us was in general just another Sunday, quiet and spent with the family. Oli and Elliot were still here which was a joy and we went on a walk together. It was in the afternoon that Fátima junior and Sara came for a very late coffee or rather tea and biscuits. Last Sunday was the night Julio and I had fixed for our annual "3 musketeer" Christmas dinner. I had put up all the decorations early this year so that the house would be decorated for the dinner. Fátima used to love what she called my "winter wonderland" and I was happy to see that her daughter loved it too. It's so sad that our traditions have now come to a sad end.
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| Fátima, Julio and I at last year's traditional Christmas dinner at our house. |
After a happy afternoon together, the girls left and Eladio, Oli, Elliot and I enjoyed a late dinner together. After helping settled little Elliot - he is always more fretful in the late afternoons - my husband and I went to bed to watch another repeat episode of The Crown.
Monday came. It was a bank holiday in Madrid so a very quiet day all in all. It would be our last morning with Oli and Elliot as at midday Miguel would be back from Valencia and off for a whole month. We would miss our little baby but I knew with Christmas coming up that we would see a lot of him and his mother and father.
Since Fátima's passing away, I hadn't taken much notice of the news. But on Monday there were some important events which I must record. I like to think these events would have made an impact on my friend. For example she would have been as delighted as I was to hear that Finland was to have an all woman government. Social democrat Sanna-Marin aged just 34 is the youngest ever PM of any country. She will lead a female led five party government. I love the photo below of these mostly young women.
Finland is a country close to my heart, having worked, like Fátima, for Nokia for many years. However, the news, although great, didn't really surprise me coming from Finland which leads the way for equality between men and women. My Finnish friend Anne, commented real equality would come when news was not about gender. She is right, but this is a step forward in that fight for equality, a step many other countries should follow. It's true that in Spain, the socialist party has more women then men in its cabinet's ranks but there is not yet one woman party leader and there has never been a woman PM. Spain has a long way to go to become like Finland. if it ever does. I won't see it in my lifetime. I hope Elliot does.
The other news was about sport and how Russia was to be banned for four years from taking part in sports events, including the 2020 Olympics and 2022 World Cup. This is all thanks to systematic doping on the part of many athletes and in collusion with the Russian government. Sickening isn't it?
Equally sickening was the story of Boris Johnson who was criticised over his reaction to the image of a sick boy, Jack, which has now gone viral. The very sick 4 year old was lying on the floor of the Leeds General Infirmary as there were not enough beds. The NHS was very much a topic of the general election this week.
When asked to look at the photo by a journalist, Johnson, coldly refused to discuss the matter although he did finally take a look but made no comment. Doesn't he care? Can't he see the problems? The photo and the whole story make me sick. How can this be happening in the UK in 2019? It shouldn't. No doubt that story would have sickened my friend Fátima too.
That morning I had a coffee date with her sister Gloria, her brother Manolo and niece Gloria. We met at 10.30 at the Rio café nearby and I was delighted to hear they had organised a funeral to bury the ashes this Saturday at the church in Villaviciosa. Later in the day I sent details of the funeral to all her friends and colleagues I hoped would go.
I came home to find Oli and Elliot gone - sniff, sniff. It was nearly lunchtime but there was no rush as I had made lunch before I went to have coffee with my friend's family.
In the afternoon we went on a late, dark and rather cold walk but we needed it. The day ended with another episode of The Crown.
Tuesday came. It was foggy and very cold. That morning, Eladio and I did something different. We went to the Majadahonda street market, in my mind, one of the best in Spain. My objective was to buy little Elliot some vests and pyjamas but there was not one baby stall. When I asked why, I was told because so few babies are born in Spain. That's absolutely true as proved by news this week which revealed that 2018 registered the lowest number of births in 20 years. It's funny but Spain is at the bottom of the league when it comes to births but at the top of the league for long living. So there were of course many stalls selling women's clothing and here I bought garments for both Oli and I for Christmas. We also bought some trousers for Eladio. He was reluctant to buy them as he hates trying out clothes; typical man. Not having found any baby clothes at the market we went to Zara and H+M. I hope I made the right choices for little Elliot. I couldn't resist a Santa outfit for our baby and can't wait to see him in it at Christmas.
We were home late for lunch. Very soon after we had finished, new guests arrived. Manuel and Lorena are a young couple from Alicante. I thought he was here for some photography work but it turns out his profession is as a tattooist. We have had people with all sorts of professions but never a tattooist hahaha. Both he and his girlfriend, unsurprisingly, had tattoos all over their bodies. I know tattoos are very much the fashion these days. They weren't though when I was a child. and perhaps because of my father's influence I have always hated them. It was working class thing to do at the time. My father used to tell me it was very much a sailor thing to do too, especially when they were drunk. Well, he would know as he was in the Navy. I hardly saw the tattooist or his girlfriend at all after their arrival until their departure this morning.
Tuesday afternoon was a repeat of Monday afternoon: siesta, walk, some work (I was preparing a press release), dinner together with the news and then the final episode of Season 2 of The Crown.
Wednesday came and I would be busy with all the preparations for sending out a press release on Thursday. The rest of the day was quiet with Fátima on my mind always. I felt very down that day. Very naughtily it was chocolate that kept me going but then that made me feel guilty.
Fátima would have been happy to know, just as I was, that Greta Thunberg, the 16 year old Swedish school girl who inspired a global movement to fight climate change, was named Time Magazine's person of the year - their youngest ever. She was chosen because she has become "the biggest voice on the biggest issue facing the planet". Hear hear is what I thought when I heard the news,
Nasty Donald Trump, jealous of her winning, mocked the Swedish teenager saying she had an "anger management problem" and should to to see a good old fashioned movie with a friend. He added "chill Greta, Chill. He should chill, not her.
I am and have been a great fan of this young girl heading the new climate change movement so magnificently. But I often wonder how she really become a world famous icon in a short time since she used to sit outside the Swedish parliament not so long ago protesting. Anyone questioning her or her entourage is likely to be criticised or dubbed anti climate change. Don't get me wrong but when my philosophy husband who always questions things, started asking what was behind her movement I got curious too. After all, how is it possible she has become a world figure in such a short time. Just by chance? Most probably not. There are many articles out there to be found that tell different but similar stories. In short they say she is the puppet in the hands of much bigger forces who want to control the world as they always have. Can I believe them? One of the articles comes from Britain's most respected newspaper, The Times. Titled: "Greta Thunberg and the plot to forge a climate warrior" what the story boils down to is the possibility that the renewable energy companies are using her and her movement for their own agenda. This is explained well in the last paragraph of the article: "For energy titans in Sweden, as elsewhere, saving the planet means government contracts to print the green stuff. Green energy lobbyists are using populist scare tactics and a children’s crusade to bypass elected representatives. But the destination is technocracy, not democracy; profit, not redistribution. Greta, a child of woke capitalism, is being used to ease the transition to green corporatism". If you don't have a subscription to The Times, you can read the article from Standpoint where it first came from and which the British broadsheet refers to here. The latter's headline is "Greta's very corporate children's crusade", quite a chilling reference if it is true. I think it may well be as I find it difficult to believe her movement and fame came from just sitting outside the Swedish parliament on Fridays not so long ago. But please don't dub me as anti Greta Thunberg. I am not. I am just questioning the forces behind her.
If Greta Thunberg was named Time's person of the year for 2019, this week Forbes named Angela Merkel the most powerful woman in the world. I can only take comfort that both accolades went to women.
Thursday came and it was that morning that I sent my press release out with the news that my customer, the Swedish fiber network operator, Adamo, was starting service in remote areas of the Pyrenees, including the village of Burguete. I didn't expect much coverage as the news was very very local and would most probably be seen as publicity rather than a corporate story.
Thursday brought good news and relief for us. Suzy told us she was coming home. She will be arriving today. I can't go into the reasons for her sudden return but can only tell you she was in danger in Bali. It was to be the best news of the week. It also means she will be home for Christmas and home to see Elliot who is now so much bigger than when she left at the end of October. Thus our family will be reunited again. If last week I said Elliot was my best Christmas present, Suzy's joining us is in the same league. The news not only filled me with relief but with joy. Her return will also help me with my bereavement over the loss of my best friend. My girls have known Fátima since 1990 when they were 6 and 7 years old. She loved them and they loved her. Many was the time she would babysit for them or look after them when I was away on business trips. They, like me, cannot believe either that she is no longer with us.
Thursday was a week after the death of my dear friend. I thought about her every day this week but on Thursday especially so. In the morning when Eladio and I went Christmas present shopping again, I commented that that one week ago that morning she was still alive. I also commented that, sadly, I would not be buying her a Christmas present this year. I love Christmas and always have but I think this year it won't be the same as I am saddened by the loss of my friend. I know I am going through bereavement as I have felt down all week.
Most of our purchases were at that famous low cost Irish store, Primark. We bought a coat for 18 euros, trousers for 13, t-shirts for 2.5 euros which are unbelievable prices. Eladio, ever the questioner, commented that the prices can only come from slave labour. No doubt he is right.
Thursday was a rainy, dark and gloomy day and we never got our walk in. Instead, we watched stuff on Netflix. We started on the film Marriage Story with Scarlett Johansson but it wasn't our thing. We then started on a series Oli had recommended about a group of Afro Americans wrongly accused of a crime. Called "When they see us", we soon got tired of that too. Thus we turned to the documentary, "The Devil next door" which was just up our street. It tells the story of the trial of John Ivan Demjanjuk, a Ukrainian who moved to the US after WW2 and who was accused in the early 80's for Nazi Crimes and being the infamous "Ivan the Terrible" , the guard at the Treblinka concentration camp in Poland. He maintained his innocence claiming the case was one of mistaken identity but many Holocaust survivors identified him as the real person. In Israel where he was first judged there was not enough evidence to imprison him. Years later he was deported to Germany and finally in May 2011 he was convicted and sentenced to just 5 years in prison. The accused appealed and died a year later before a final judgement could be issued. Thus by German law he is still considered innocent. It is a fascinating story. The problem is that his identification by Holocaust survivors was based on a photo of him as a very young man and it must have been difficult to prove decades later that he was indeed the Nazi dubbed Ivan the Terrible. It's quite a story and the truth, it seems, will never be known.
If it was a grey and dull day for me, it was a wet day for the General Election on Thursday 12th December. It was to be a battle between Boris Johnson from the Conservatives, bent on delivering Brexit with or without a deal, and Jeremy Corbyn, the unpopular Labour leader whose stance on Brexit is not so clear. It was also a sort of repeat Brexit referendum. I was cross all day that neither my father nor I who are directly affected by the UK leaving the EU, could vote because of an unfair law that dictates that after 15 years outside the country you are not eligible to vote. Friday morning brought the results. Boris Johnson had won the election by a majority which now means Brexit looms and all that that entails. I hate the man for being a liar and traitor to the peace and unity achieved by Churchill for Europe. My father is indignant as no doubt you can imagine.
The only thing that cheered me up on Thursday was news of little Elliot who I hadn't seen since Monday. Oli sent us a lovely photo of him. He seems to be thriving and is getting so big. It's his smile that captivates and his large endearing eyes. He seems so alert for a baby who is not even three months old yet and what a perfect baby he is.
I think this is one of the best photos of him yet and this is the photo I used to make a fun Christmas framed photo like the one below.
As I am a bit Christmas mad, after I had made his frame, I searched for a photo of the family to make more. Voilá, I made one of us all together, including little Elliot when he was tiny. As usual Pippa got into the picture. This is the picture I have chosen for this week's feature photo.
I was looking forward to seeing Elliot on Friday when Oli and her family were coming for lunch. I was awake at 5.30 that morning. I just couldn't sleep any more so got up, made my coffee and then fed the dogs.
Friday was Friday the 13th, never a good day although I am not particularly suspicious. After reading the headlines on the landslide victory of Boris Johnson, I finally took the long meditated decision to start the lengthy process that will take a year to apply for Spanish citizenship. This is not my choice but a forced decision after I was stripped of my EU citizenship in a referendum I wasn't even allowed to vote in. It's a funny feeling and no doubt will get funnier when the process starts. I could have become a Spanish citizen many years ago and automatically so after I married a Spaniard but I never needed it until now and besides I didn't want to become Spanish however much I love this country. Today the rules are far stricter and I will face the same process, with exams on Spanish life and its constitution, etc and on the Spanish language, set for all and sundry whether they have been here like me for more than 30 years or just for 5. South Americans don't have to take the language exam and you would have thought that with a degree in Hispanic studies I would be exempt but I'm not. No doubt I will pass it with flying colours but I feel angry that I have to take it. As to the exam on Spanish life, history, constitution, etc, that I will pass too but not every question I can tell you. I have taken a look and seen some of the questions that would flounder most Spaniards. I took a look too at the test for British nationality and it also includes questions many UK citizens would not be able to answer, including me. What a sorry situation.
That morning, I spent some of the time wrapping up the presents we had bought this week. It was a good ploy to keep my mind off the election results and Brexit. It was also nice to see how the presents were piling up under the tree. We go for quantity rather than quality in this house. There is usually one major present for everyone, the rest being much smaller things. But I just love to have lots of presents to unwrap.
Eladio was out on Friday morning so I went on our walk alone with Pippa. It was quite a sunny and mild day for a change.
The arrival of Elliot at lunchtime brightened up my day. He is just such a darling little boy. It was lovely to have lunch together and I'm sure my father agreed. Here he is dressed in an outfit my friend Kathy bought for him.
The afternoon was spent quietly at home and it was lovely to have Oli, Miguel and little Elliot here. Later we went out to dinner together. We had left it a little late to make a reservation and most places were fully booked. In the end we got a table at El Tuareg, the Arab Moroccan restaurant in Villaviciosa. It was Fátima and her daughter who first recommended what is now one of our favourite places.
Saturday came, the day of my best friend's funeral. What do you decide to wear to your best friend's funeral? I always used to love going out with her on personal or work related outings and would make an effort to dress up. In the end I chose red, a colour she loved on me but also because I knew she didn't want anyone to be sad or to wear black. She didn't want us to feel sad but I did feel sad as I got ready to go. In the early morning I was told I would be reading the Psalm during the mass but I had no idea which one so I got to the church early to see the priest and go over the words. Eladio and I arrived early - Oli, Miguel and Elliot would take longer - and soon people from all her groups of friends started to arrive; neighbours, family, school and University friends, Motorola colleagues, Nokia colleagues and even people from the cycling world which is where our friendship started back in 1990. I was delighted to see Rafa, a well known photographer. It was Rafa who baptised us as "Pin and Pon" and of course he had to be there. Also there was the Spanish cycling legend Pedro Delgado and his wonderful wife Ludy.
The ceremony had been arranged by Fátima's neighbours who are the mothers of her daughter's friends who feel they have lost a second mother. The church was packed and made it obvious to us all just how much those who knew my friend loved her. At the end of the service, some of us went down into the crypt where her ashes were to be buried in a niche alongside those of her parents. It was an intimate ceremony and very sad. I cracked up when I saw the jar of ashes - my friend turned into ashes. How could that be when she was alive such a short time ago? In a way that "put the nail on the coffin". Gloria, or "Piyoyo" as the family call her - Fátima's neice - read a wonderful tribute to her aunt, words we all related to. We were all invited to say something if we wanted and I chose to read out one of my friend's final messages to me which I reproduce in the original Spanish. Those words crack me up too.
"Carino, no estés triste. Todos venimos para marcharnos. A mí me toca ahora hacer el tránsito pero voy muy tranquila, sintiéndome muy feliz, agradecida y afortunada por la vida que he tenido, pero sobre todo afortunada y agradecida porque la vida me ha dado a la mejor AMIGA que se pueda tener, GRACIAS AMIGA por haber estado siempre ahí a mi lado."
If you didn't have the privilege of knowing Fátima I think from these words you can get an idea of what a strong, positive and loving person she was. She will be forever in my heart and I am grateful to have these last words from her. They mean so much to me.
After burying the ashes, we joined the rest of the congregation and there was a chance to talk to so many people who had come to pay their respects. I especially want to thank our Motorola and Nokia colleagues for coming; Paco, Julio, Jill, Carlos, Paloma, Mari Angeles, Sonia, Peter, Carlos G, Alfonso, Lubas, Fernando and many more I should mention.
In England it is customary to hold a sort of celebratory wake for the departed person's life after a funeral but that doesn't happen in Spain. It's all a bit disorganised and after paying ones respects to the family and chatting a little to other people, everyone leaves. I would have loved to hold a special wake for my friend. Instead, Eladio and I went to have lunch with Pedro Delgado and Ludy. We chose a rice place which served pretty good food but was terribly loud. A lot of my friend's daughter's family and friends were there too and the place was packed. It was a bit much for Eladio and I who are averse to crowded and noisy places. So it felt like heaven when we came home and went up to our room to rest. I was exhausted emotionally more than anything else and slept till way past 6 pm.
Oli and Miguel had gone back to their flat, there were guests in the house who we didn't see so all was quiet. We had a token dinner and then spent too long watching a silly American romantic series which helped me get over what had been a very emotional day.
Today Sunday will be pretty emotional too but in a happy way as Suzy will be arriving at 13.30. Right now she is up in the air on the plane taking her from Doha to Madrid. I can't wait for the moment I see her and I also can't wait for her to see little Elliot again, her adored little nephew who will be 3 months old next Tuesday.
So now my friends, it's time to say thanks for reading this post and to wish you all a happy week ahead and of course to say "cheers till next time".
All the best,
Masha
Since Fátima's passing away, I hadn't taken much notice of the news. But on Monday there were some important events which I must record. I like to think these events would have made an impact on my friend. For example she would have been as delighted as I was to hear that Finland was to have an all woman government. Social democrat Sanna-Marin aged just 34 is the youngest ever PM of any country. She will lead a female led five party government. I love the photo below of these mostly young women.
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| 5 women leading the new government in Finland. |
The other news was about sport and how Russia was to be banned for four years from taking part in sports events, including the 2020 Olympics and 2022 World Cup. This is all thanks to systematic doping on the part of many athletes and in collusion with the Russian government. Sickening isn't it?
Equally sickening was the story of Boris Johnson who was criticised over his reaction to the image of a sick boy, Jack, which has now gone viral. The very sick 4 year old was lying on the floor of the Leeds General Infirmary as there were not enough beds. The NHS was very much a topic of the general election this week.
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| Photo of the 4 year old boy lying in a hospital corridor in Leeds |
That morning I had a coffee date with her sister Gloria, her brother Manolo and niece Gloria. We met at 10.30 at the Rio café nearby and I was delighted to hear they had organised a funeral to bury the ashes this Saturday at the church in Villaviciosa. Later in the day I sent details of the funeral to all her friends and colleagues I hoped would go.
I came home to find Oli and Elliot gone - sniff, sniff. It was nearly lunchtime but there was no rush as I had made lunch before I went to have coffee with my friend's family.
In the afternoon we went on a late, dark and rather cold walk but we needed it. The day ended with another episode of The Crown.
Tuesday came. It was foggy and very cold. That morning, Eladio and I did something different. We went to the Majadahonda street market, in my mind, one of the best in Spain. My objective was to buy little Elliot some vests and pyjamas but there was not one baby stall. When I asked why, I was told because so few babies are born in Spain. That's absolutely true as proved by news this week which revealed that 2018 registered the lowest number of births in 20 years. It's funny but Spain is at the bottom of the league when it comes to births but at the top of the league for long living. So there were of course many stalls selling women's clothing and here I bought garments for both Oli and I for Christmas. We also bought some trousers for Eladio. He was reluctant to buy them as he hates trying out clothes; typical man. Not having found any baby clothes at the market we went to Zara and H+M. I hope I made the right choices for little Elliot. I couldn't resist a Santa outfit for our baby and can't wait to see him in it at Christmas.
We were home late for lunch. Very soon after we had finished, new guests arrived. Manuel and Lorena are a young couple from Alicante. I thought he was here for some photography work but it turns out his profession is as a tattooist. We have had people with all sorts of professions but never a tattooist hahaha. Both he and his girlfriend, unsurprisingly, had tattoos all over their bodies. I know tattoos are very much the fashion these days. They weren't though when I was a child. and perhaps because of my father's influence I have always hated them. It was working class thing to do at the time. My father used to tell me it was very much a sailor thing to do too, especially when they were drunk. Well, he would know as he was in the Navy. I hardly saw the tattooist or his girlfriend at all after their arrival until their departure this morning.
Tuesday afternoon was a repeat of Monday afternoon: siesta, walk, some work (I was preparing a press release), dinner together with the news and then the final episode of Season 2 of The Crown.
Wednesday came and I would be busy with all the preparations for sending out a press release on Thursday. The rest of the day was quiet with Fátima on my mind always. I felt very down that day. Very naughtily it was chocolate that kept me going but then that made me feel guilty.
Fátima would have been happy to know, just as I was, that Greta Thunberg, the 16 year old Swedish school girl who inspired a global movement to fight climate change, was named Time Magazine's person of the year - their youngest ever. She was chosen because she has become "the biggest voice on the biggest issue facing the planet". Hear hear is what I thought when I heard the news,
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| Greta Thunberg, Time Magazine's person of the year and the youngest ever. |
I am and have been a great fan of this young girl heading the new climate change movement so magnificently. But I often wonder how she really become a world famous icon in a short time since she used to sit outside the Swedish parliament not so long ago protesting. Anyone questioning her or her entourage is likely to be criticised or dubbed anti climate change. Don't get me wrong but when my philosophy husband who always questions things, started asking what was behind her movement I got curious too. After all, how is it possible she has become a world figure in such a short time. Just by chance? Most probably not. There are many articles out there to be found that tell different but similar stories. In short they say she is the puppet in the hands of much bigger forces who want to control the world as they always have. Can I believe them? One of the articles comes from Britain's most respected newspaper, The Times. Titled: "Greta Thunberg and the plot to forge a climate warrior" what the story boils down to is the possibility that the renewable energy companies are using her and her movement for their own agenda. This is explained well in the last paragraph of the article: "For energy titans in Sweden, as elsewhere, saving the planet means government contracts to print the green stuff. Green energy lobbyists are using populist scare tactics and a children’s crusade to bypass elected representatives. But the destination is technocracy, not democracy; profit, not redistribution. Greta, a child of woke capitalism, is being used to ease the transition to green corporatism". If you don't have a subscription to The Times, you can read the article from Standpoint where it first came from and which the British broadsheet refers to here. The latter's headline is "Greta's very corporate children's crusade", quite a chilling reference if it is true. I think it may well be as I find it difficult to believe her movement and fame came from just sitting outside the Swedish parliament on Fridays not so long ago. But please don't dub me as anti Greta Thunberg. I am not. I am just questioning the forces behind her.
If Greta Thunberg was named Time's person of the year for 2019, this week Forbes named Angela Merkel the most powerful woman in the world. I can only take comfort that both accolades went to women.
Thursday came and it was that morning that I sent my press release out with the news that my customer, the Swedish fiber network operator, Adamo, was starting service in remote areas of the Pyrenees, including the village of Burguete. I didn't expect much coverage as the news was very very local and would most probably be seen as publicity rather than a corporate story.
Thursday brought good news and relief for us. Suzy told us she was coming home. She will be arriving today. I can't go into the reasons for her sudden return but can only tell you she was in danger in Bali. It was to be the best news of the week. It also means she will be home for Christmas and home to see Elliot who is now so much bigger than when she left at the end of October. Thus our family will be reunited again. If last week I said Elliot was my best Christmas present, Suzy's joining us is in the same league. The news not only filled me with relief but with joy. Her return will also help me with my bereavement over the loss of my best friend. My girls have known Fátima since 1990 when they were 6 and 7 years old. She loved them and they loved her. Many was the time she would babysit for them or look after them when I was away on business trips. They, like me, cannot believe either that she is no longer with us.
Thursday was a week after the death of my dear friend. I thought about her every day this week but on Thursday especially so. In the morning when Eladio and I went Christmas present shopping again, I commented that that one week ago that morning she was still alive. I also commented that, sadly, I would not be buying her a Christmas present this year. I love Christmas and always have but I think this year it won't be the same as I am saddened by the loss of my friend. I know I am going through bereavement as I have felt down all week.
Most of our purchases were at that famous low cost Irish store, Primark. We bought a coat for 18 euros, trousers for 13, t-shirts for 2.5 euros which are unbelievable prices. Eladio, ever the questioner, commented that the prices can only come from slave labour. No doubt he is right.
Thursday was a rainy, dark and gloomy day and we never got our walk in. Instead, we watched stuff on Netflix. We started on the film Marriage Story with Scarlett Johansson but it wasn't our thing. We then started on a series Oli had recommended about a group of Afro Americans wrongly accused of a crime. Called "When they see us", we soon got tired of that too. Thus we turned to the documentary, "The Devil next door" which was just up our street. It tells the story of the trial of John Ivan Demjanjuk, a Ukrainian who moved to the US after WW2 and who was accused in the early 80's for Nazi Crimes and being the infamous "Ivan the Terrible" , the guard at the Treblinka concentration camp in Poland. He maintained his innocence claiming the case was one of mistaken identity but many Holocaust survivors identified him as the real person. In Israel where he was first judged there was not enough evidence to imprison him. Years later he was deported to Germany and finally in May 2011 he was convicted and sentenced to just 5 years in prison. The accused appealed and died a year later before a final judgement could be issued. Thus by German law he is still considered innocent. It is a fascinating story. The problem is that his identification by Holocaust survivors was based on a photo of him as a very young man and it must have been difficult to prove decades later that he was indeed the Nazi dubbed Ivan the Terrible. It's quite a story and the truth, it seems, will never be known.
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| Ukrainian John (Ivan) Demjanjuk accused of being Ivan the Terrible the guard at Treblinka |
The only thing that cheered me up on Thursday was news of little Elliot who I hadn't seen since Monday. Oli sent us a lovely photo of him. He seems to be thriving and is getting so big. It's his smile that captivates and his large endearing eyes. He seems so alert for a baby who is not even three months old yet and what a perfect baby he is.
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| Little Elliot who brings joy to my heart |
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| Little Elliot in a Christmas frame |
Friday was Friday the 13th, never a good day although I am not particularly suspicious. After reading the headlines on the landslide victory of Boris Johnson, I finally took the long meditated decision to start the lengthy process that will take a year to apply for Spanish citizenship. This is not my choice but a forced decision after I was stripped of my EU citizenship in a referendum I wasn't even allowed to vote in. It's a funny feeling and no doubt will get funnier when the process starts. I could have become a Spanish citizen many years ago and automatically so after I married a Spaniard but I never needed it until now and besides I didn't want to become Spanish however much I love this country. Today the rules are far stricter and I will face the same process, with exams on Spanish life and its constitution, etc and on the Spanish language, set for all and sundry whether they have been here like me for more than 30 years or just for 5. South Americans don't have to take the language exam and you would have thought that with a degree in Hispanic studies I would be exempt but I'm not. No doubt I will pass it with flying colours but I feel angry that I have to take it. As to the exam on Spanish life, history, constitution, etc, that I will pass too but not every question I can tell you. I have taken a look and seen some of the questions that would flounder most Spaniards. I took a look too at the test for British nationality and it also includes questions many UK citizens would not be able to answer, including me. What a sorry situation.
That morning, I spent some of the time wrapping up the presents we had bought this week. It was a good ploy to keep my mind off the election results and Brexit. It was also nice to see how the presents were piling up under the tree. We go for quantity rather than quality in this house. There is usually one major present for everyone, the rest being much smaller things. But I just love to have lots of presents to unwrap.
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| The presents piling up the Christmas tree on Friday morning. |
The arrival of Elliot at lunchtime brightened up my day. He is just such a darling little boy. It was lovely to have lunch together and I'm sure my father agreed. Here he is dressed in an outfit my friend Kathy bought for him.
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| Little Elliot on Friday |
Saturday came, the day of my best friend's funeral. What do you decide to wear to your best friend's funeral? I always used to love going out with her on personal or work related outings and would make an effort to dress up. In the end I chose red, a colour she loved on me but also because I knew she didn't want anyone to be sad or to wear black. She didn't want us to feel sad but I did feel sad as I got ready to go. In the early morning I was told I would be reading the Psalm during the mass but I had no idea which one so I got to the church early to see the priest and go over the words. Eladio and I arrived early - Oli, Miguel and Elliot would take longer - and soon people from all her groups of friends started to arrive; neighbours, family, school and University friends, Motorola colleagues, Nokia colleagues and even people from the cycling world which is where our friendship started back in 1990. I was delighted to see Rafa, a well known photographer. It was Rafa who baptised us as "Pin and Pon" and of course he had to be there. Also there was the Spanish cycling legend Pedro Delgado and his wonderful wife Ludy.
The ceremony had been arranged by Fátima's neighbours who are the mothers of her daughter's friends who feel they have lost a second mother. The church was packed and made it obvious to us all just how much those who knew my friend loved her. At the end of the service, some of us went down into the crypt where her ashes were to be buried in a niche alongside those of her parents. It was an intimate ceremony and very sad. I cracked up when I saw the jar of ashes - my friend turned into ashes. How could that be when she was alive such a short time ago? In a way that "put the nail on the coffin". Gloria, or "Piyoyo" as the family call her - Fátima's neice - read a wonderful tribute to her aunt, words we all related to. We were all invited to say something if we wanted and I chose to read out one of my friend's final messages to me which I reproduce in the original Spanish. Those words crack me up too.
"Carino, no estés triste. Todos venimos para marcharnos. A mí me toca ahora hacer el tránsito pero voy muy tranquila, sintiéndome muy feliz, agradecida y afortunada por la vida que he tenido, pero sobre todo afortunada y agradecida porque la vida me ha dado a la mejor AMIGA que se pueda tener, GRACIAS AMIGA por haber estado siempre ahí a mi lado."
If you didn't have the privilege of knowing Fátima I think from these words you can get an idea of what a strong, positive and loving person she was. She will be forever in my heart and I am grateful to have these last words from her. They mean so much to me.
After burying the ashes, we joined the rest of the congregation and there was a chance to talk to so many people who had come to pay their respects. I especially want to thank our Motorola and Nokia colleagues for coming; Paco, Julio, Jill, Carlos, Paloma, Mari Angeles, Sonia, Peter, Carlos G, Alfonso, Lubas, Fernando and many more I should mention.
In England it is customary to hold a sort of celebratory wake for the departed person's life after a funeral but that doesn't happen in Spain. It's all a bit disorganised and after paying ones respects to the family and chatting a little to other people, everyone leaves. I would have loved to hold a special wake for my friend. Instead, Eladio and I went to have lunch with Pedro Delgado and Ludy. We chose a rice place which served pretty good food but was terribly loud. A lot of my friend's daughter's family and friends were there too and the place was packed. It was a bit much for Eladio and I who are averse to crowded and noisy places. So it felt like heaven when we came home and went up to our room to rest. I was exhausted emotionally more than anything else and slept till way past 6 pm.
Oli and Miguel had gone back to their flat, there were guests in the house who we didn't see so all was quiet. We had a token dinner and then spent too long watching a silly American romantic series which helped me get over what had been a very emotional day.
Today Sunday will be pretty emotional too but in a happy way as Suzy will be arriving at 13.30. Right now she is up in the air on the plane taking her from Doha to Madrid. I can't wait for the moment I see her and I also can't wait for her to see little Elliot again, her adored little nephew who will be 3 months old next Tuesday.
So now my friends, it's time to say thanks for reading this post and to wish you all a happy week ahead and of course to say "cheers till next time".
All the best,
Masha
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