Sunday, November 20, 2022

Home from Santa Pola, RIP Val, international gathering of guests, off to Yorkshire, shopping in Leeds, visiting my parents' grave, school reunion, Juliet walks and other tales of the week.

West Yorkshire, Sunday 20th November, 2022

Visiting my parents' grave, now with my father's inscription. 

Good morning all from my beloved Yorkshire, the country where I lived from the age of 7 to 18. I may have been born in Cambridge but my English roots are well and truly entrenched in God's Own Country. If I am writing this week from Yorkshire, this time last week I was writing from Santa Pola from our apartment near the beach. 

We were leaving that day after a pleasant 8 nights there, setting it up for the next season and also enjoying our time. The weather was amazing on Sunday; beach weather again but unfortunately it was time to go home.

We set off at around 11 and at 12 on the dot were enjoying a coffee at a run of the mill roadside cafe, By 2 we were sitting down to lunch at Mesón los Rosales where I had the biggest steak I have ever been offered, even in the USA. I ate as much as I could, about half of it, as it was delicious. Eladio had baby goat. I feel too much for goats to eat them. 

We were home just after 5 and I was happy to greet Lili and our Iranian guests, Shabnam and her daughter. She had made home made baklava, a sweet I adore but had to resist because of my diet. My mother and Aunty Masha loved it too and used to make it. That was because they had lived in Bulgaria as children where it is local delicacy.  I have even made it myself, years ago and it is quite fiddly. 

In a short while I had unpacked which was pretty easy as most of the contents of our suitcases went straight into the laundry basket. When I had finished I heard the piano being played, my grandmother's Broadway which had recently been tuned. The player was my Ukranian guest, Iaroslav who I met for the first time. The poor man is from Kiev where he had to stay to fight while his wife and child escaped to the Czech Republic. He can no longer fight as he has a liver problem. He has moved to Spain to live near his 4 year old daughter, a refugee here and used our house to find long term accommodation.  I was awed to meet a Kyvian (is that correct?). When I asked him what it was like, he simply said "war". Of course. I could only sympathise with him and his traumatised daughter. She is a disturbed little girl and my heart went out to her as I led her to play with Juliet and Elliot's toy. I did not see Roger, our Panamian/Canadian guest but I would later,

Suzy was back later and soon we were having a simple dinner together in the dining room. It was early to bed that first night back and oh how comfortable my bed felt.

Monday came and suddenly it was autumn proper; so different from Santa Pola. It was colder, rained on and off and the garden was full of leaves. That got me down a bit as I knew that the was the last of proper sunshine this year. 

The best news of the week came on Monday. Lucy was back from Paraguay. Lucy has been our housekeeper for 3 years and was my father's carer. In the middle of September she had to return to her country - for the first time in 5 years, to take care of her husband who was very ill. Fortunately he is now completely recovered. It was just great to have her back. Things are now back to normal in the daily running of the house. Lili, her niece and substitute, did a good job but it was never the same. She left that day, apparently, to take up a job in Alicante. We wish her well. 

We were one car short as the Volvo was still in the garage so would leave the food shopping until the next day. The highlight of Monday was seeing my grandchildren in the afternoon at Oli's flat. We went in the dark and came home in the rain.  Iaroslav was making his dinner and later we had a chat together. How hard his life is as a Ukranian refugee. It has been difficult for him to find accommodation in Madrid. .The demand for renting is higher than the supply. Shabnam is in the same situation. She has been with us for nearly 3 weeks now and she and Suzy have become fast friends.

It was while I was going up to bed I got a very, very sad message from my friend and former Airbnb guest, Joanna from Lancashire. Her sister Val who I met in Wales had died of cancer aged just 66 on Remembrance Day last week. Joanna  was instrumental in the coming together of my father's book when I was finding out more about my grandfather, Revd. Canon John Collins Lloyd, who was born in Anglesey. It was a huge coincidence to find out that Joanna's older sister, Val, lived there and not just anywhere but in the village made famous for having the second longest name in the world. Even more coincidentally, his first church was there. 

The full name is  Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and apparently translates into something like St Mary's Church in the hollow of the white hazel. Apparently "Llan" means church in Welsh. 

My grandfather's first church in Anglesey, St. Mary's,  just happened to be in  Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch  also known as Llanfairpwl for short

My grandfather's first pastoral job  was as a curate there in 1910 for 3 years where he lived at the White Lodge. Val's house is part of what was once the Rectory, a place my grandfather would have gone to many times. So when we went to Anglesey in June 2019 as part of a trip to my father's roots after writing his book, I got to know Val who hosted us with so much enthusiasm and love. From her house there are views of the church and it is a short walk down. I was there so I know and this is a lovely photo I took of the view of the church while at her house 3 years ago.


The view of my grandfather's first church from Val's garden
While in Anglesey, I hosted a marvelous dinner for Joanna, her daughter Elisa and Val as well as Barry and his wife. Barry had helped enormously too with local research. I shall never forget that night when I handed them all a book each. 
The wonderful gathering of new friends, including Val, who made my book come true - Anglesey June 2019. 

I shall never forget either Val's warm welcome to that beautiful part of Wales where my grandfather was born. When I got the very sad message I rang Joanna who was still in Val's lovely house. I was happy to hear there will be a headstone for her at my grandfather's church. Her ashes will be scattered in the Menai Strait by her house and the church. RIP Val. It was a very sad end to the day.

Tuesday had its ups and downs. Suzy left early in the morning to prepare the kids for school when a tire of my Mini burst. That meant Miguel had to come with Elliot to pick her up. She would use his car to take them and Miguel had to go to work by taxi. When Eladio was up he called the insurance company who came to tow the car to a garage. It would be ready by 12 or so they said. Meanwhile we had Miguel's car and did the shopping. Then bad luck struck when we were told the anti tire theft key was missing and only the BMW/Mini garage could do something about it. That meant towing it again - later Eladio found the missing key. But the Mini had to stay there not just to mend or replace the tire but for service.  Not having a car where we live is an issue. 

Thus we stayed the rest of the day at home. We did not go for a walk once again as the weather was foul, at least for me; about 14ºc and raining. I hate the rain although I know it is good for the country.

My Skype call with Amanda was one of the more pleasant moments of Tuesday. We spoke about our plans for this weekend as I am staying with her at her brother Simon's in Sowerby Bridge. But more about that later.

That evening I had something very special to look forward to. Shabnam (Shabby) whose name Eladio can't pronounce - he calls her "Chavi" - Xavi in Spanish - and Suzy had come up with the idea of having an international gathering or dinner that night for all our guests. What a great idea. We would be hosting guests from Canada/Panama, Ukraine and Iran.  Add to that that Lucy is from Paraguay, my own multi cultural roots and Eladio being Spanish, there were more nationalities represented that night than people. Wow what a mixture of cultures. Lucy, Suzy and  Shabnam (means "dew" in Farsi) cooked and I was in charge of laying the table and the general logistics. By 7.30 or so we were all in the kitchen with a drink in our hands.  Soon we were sitting at our dining room table and I welcomed everyone. I thanked our guests for being there and of course made a big mention that our sympathies lie with Iran - freedom for women - and Ukraine - peace. Before we tucked in,  as always, photos had to be taken. Here are two from that very special and very international evening. 

From left to right - Lucy (Paraguay), Suzy, Roger (Panama/Canada), Shabnam (Iran), Ioroslav (Ukraine) and Eladio

A selfie taken before dinner with our international guests
Conversation flowed in Spanish and English and we all learned more about each other. I have to say that being an Airbnb host gives me the great privilege of meeting fascinating people from all over the world. We have had people from every corner of the planet and having someone from Iran and from Ukraine in these troubled times brings their countries' problems more alive than reading the papers. I think everyone at the table had similar thoughts. The evening ended with the last of the Taylor's port wine, singing by Suzy and piano playing by Iaroslav. 

We were in bed early and there was nothing but rubbish on the TV. I took a while to fall asleep and dammit, on Wednesday morning was awake at 5.45 - back to my old habits. 

I woke up to the news of Russian missiles landing in Poland and killing two people and all that could mean.  Later it was confirmed they were actually Ukrainian. Thank God as if they had really been Russian we would technically be at war with Putin. I also woke up to the news that bloody Donald Trumps announced he is running for President again in 2024. I hope he is not voted for as that would be a complete disaster. 

Wednesday was the day of my departure but it would be a very long day as my flight wasn't until 9.30 pm. I got through the dark day somehow and so did poor Eladio who was battling to get both our  cars back from the garages. We left at 6.30, I was at the airport by 7.30 and I thought I had plenty of time except I had not factored in so many long queues for check in, security and getting on the Ryan Air flight, the only airline that flies to Manchester. I was worried that as it was a late flight it might get cancelled but it wasn't. The whole procedure was unpleasant. Flying is not what it was but at least we arrived on time in Manchester. This was the weather when I arrived, not exactly a warm welcome to my birth country but then again it's England and November so it is to be expected.

The forecast for the weather here during my stay
Raj from Oxford taxis in Keighley who charged me more for the ride both ways than my flight had cost, arrived an hour late. It was a challenge finding him but I did. Then the main road to my destination, the M66 was closed for road works so we had to go through Bradford. Thus I didn't get to Phil and Kath's until nearly 2 am (UK time). I was shattered and grateful to Kathy for getting up to let me in and to Raj for taking my huge suitcase upstairs to my lovely room

After unpacking - I always have to unpack as soon as I arrive anywhere, including all my technology, cables and chargers -  I lay down in the wonderful memory foam bed but I couldn't sleep. It was probably due to what my mother used to call "reisefieber"  - travel fever. I probably missed my husband too who always gives me a relaxing back and neck massage every night (lucky me).

On Thursday morning, my first day in Yorkshire, I was up at about 7. Of course it was raining but I didn't really mind. Kathy and Phil had organised a day out shopping in Leeds. I don't think I had been there since I lived in Yorkshire. My mother used to teach at Leeds Uni so I remember going often, but not so much to shop.  Once I did though when I was given 100 pounds in about  1974 when I was aged 17. It was an enormous amount of the money at the time and I remember going with my friend Amanda and spending the whole day and all the money. Some of it went on some very colourful enormously high platform shoes which were in fashion in the 70's!. I would need a lot more money this week. 

We took the train from Keighley station where I had my first photo of this trip taken. Thanks Kathy.
Waiting in Keighley for the train to Leeds
Arriving at Leeds central station brought back memories of taking the train to London in excitement or to Nottingham when I was at Uni. I always loved traveling by train, long distance that is. I remember the times when I would have a full English breakfast in the restaurant car when taking an early train to King's Cross. But Leeds would have to do and I have to say it is a fabulous city for shopping. The rain spoiled it a bit.  Leeds has some beautiful Victorian buildings but some awful ones too. My friends took me into the Queens Hotel next to the station for a coffee before our shopping spree and what a marvelous place it is, like something out of a period drama. 

Enjoying a coffee at The Queen's Hotel in Leeds on Tuesday

Kathy was our Leeds city centre shopping trip guide and she knows the shops. I would have loved to go into Harvey Nichols or even John Lewis but M+S and Boots was fine by me. At M+S I had the time of my life, mostly in the lingerie department but I also got some great jeans. Kathy joined me in search of jumpers and I had to go for the one in the picture below - lots of stripes and bright colours. As we had done once in York we both tried on the same jumper. Only I ended up buying it. I love it. Little did I know that Marks and Spencer would too hahahhaa.
A fun moment trying on jumpers in M+S in Leeds on Tuesday
Phil, like Eladio, who gets bored of clothes shopping, headed for the fresh food market - lovely place. We went to Waterstones - that outstanding British book shop. There I got some books for Juliet and Elliot, books in English I would not be able to find in Spain. 

We then met at The Ivy, a famous Leeds restaurant where my friends had been before. My conclusion. It's absolutely stunning inside and out but the food is not so good. 

The Ivy in Leeds
Even the bathrooms were spectacular, so much so I had to take a picture to share here. Merit where merit is due.
One of the bathrooms at The Ivy
We all ordered the lobster and prawn cocktail except that there was no lobster to be found. I complained and got a new plate where there was one tiny little piece. I ordered an underdone steak which came medium rare  and Phil's fish was smothered in salty soy sauce and was over cooked. The manager came to talk to us and we explained what was wrong with the food. It turned out he was from Argentina but had lived in Spain for years. He agreed the food was not as good as it should be and the dear man invited us to free desserts and coffee and knocked off about 50 quid off the bill. Kathy reckons it was because we spoke to him in Spanish. Maybe she was right. In any case a good time was had by all.

Before heading back to the train station we went to the beautiful old fresh food market to get my favourite food in the world, dressed crab. Thank you Phil. It can't be bought for love or money in Spain so it's not often I get to eat it.

Our last stop was Boots for some more "essentials" and then we rushed in the rain to catch the train. Once home it was time for a "cuppa", in my case, decaf tea. 

The main news that day was the new budget announced by Jeremy Hunt, basically tax rises and spending cuts which won't make people happy at all. I completely understand. 

I count myself as fortunate enough to not be too affected by the rise in prices but that's because we have paid taxes all our lives and have decent pensions; not to mention my new entrepreneurship little business, aka Aibnb. Thus I was able to continue shopping on Friday too. Friday morning was set aside for a visit to Sainsbury's, mainly to buy clothes for Juliet and Elliot. I also got a lovely jumper dress for myself. This is it and it's gorgeous. 
My lovely and warm jumper dress from Sainsbury's

The main reason to go to Sainsbury's was to buy flowers for my parents' grave which we visited before lunch. Coffee that morning was in Saltaire  at Kathy's sister Debby's house, the only sister I had not yet met. They have a wonderful Yorkshire stone house just up the road from St. Peter's church where I used to go to the Girl Guides. That is where I met Brandon Jackson who eventually married Eladio and I in Madrid but that's another story.

After coffee at Debby's where we also met her young daughter Frances and baby, it was time to visit my parents' grave at Charlestown Cemetery. It would be my first visit since my father's interment back in May and I was eager to see the new headstone with his inscription. In fact the main mission of my visit to Yorkshire was to see it. The dear man had left very little room for himself but I managed to fill it in. I have chosen that photo as this week's feature photo. I took others too with the beautiful roses. 
Roses for my parents 

If in May the cemetery was covered in cherry blossom, this week it was covered in autumn leaves. I suspect my father would have preferred chocolates hahahaa but that could not be. It was a very emotional moment and I am extremely grateful to my dear friends Phil and Kathy for giving me a home away from home in my beloved Yorkshire. I am also grateful to them for being with me that day.

I could well have chosen another photo for this week's feature photo - the one of Kathy and I in the matching M+S jumpers above. and one I posted on Insgtagram (of course). As were driving away from the cemetery and up Hollins Hill where my brother once crashed on his bicycle, I saw a message from Marks and Spencers which really made my day. This was it
M+S want to feature my photo with Kathy in the same jumper on their website!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read they wanted to use the photo for their website. It tickled us pink and I shall look forward to seeing that picture there. Maybe we could be models for M+S hahaha. I suppose we are their target age group -  hahahaha again. 

We were late home and had a late lunch, more like Spanish times and we were all starving. That was the day we ate the delicious dressed crab. 

On Friday at 5 a taxi was coming to take me to Simon and Gill's  where Amanda was heading to from Devon. She too had come for the school reunion which was the main excuse for my trip here but it was also to meet friends and do some Christmas shopping of course. The drive from Keighley to Sowerby Bridge which is only 16 miles away was something of a challenge over the moors in the dark. I had a very young Pakistani taxi driver, Danny, and I think I gave him the time of his life. He said he didn't need the radio when I asked him to turn the rapper "music" off, as I was entertainment. He is young and wants to get out of Keighley so I sort of mentored him and I think I helped him or at least I hoped I did. He asked to see me picture of me when I was young, so I got out a wedding day photo. He made my day by saying I was even more stunning now aged 65. That was an extraordinary compliment. I do seem to get on very well with the Pakistani taxi drivers in Yorkshire. I always like talking to them with their broad Yorkshire accents which I can hardly understand hahahahah.

It's a challenge to find Simon and Gill's slightly hidden but beautiful, large Yorkshire stone house overlooking a valley. I have been her many times but I don't think I could ever make it up their very steep drive. But Danny made it and soon I was in their lovely warm house greeting them like old friends which is what they are. Simon was at Bradford Grammar School where my father taught and thanks to him, Amanda and I were introduced to many of his friends. We became a group of happy teenagers and have never forgotten those wonderful years - in the mid 70's - where we grew up together. 

Amanda had taken over 8 h to get to Yorkshire and I was very grateful that she did. As you will know she is my best friend from school where we met at the tender age of 11. I was immediately ushered into their spacious kitchen and given a glass of white wine. It would last me all evening. Simon is the cook and he is a good one. He made a meal of a sort of fish shepherd's pie and vegetables perfectly cooked and we ate in peace and harmony with so much to talk about. Simon and Gill had been at my father's funeral events which I am also grateful for. 

The evening was wonderful and as to the hospitality, well, words can't describe it. We went to bed quite early and I had a lovely bedroom and bed but, as usual, it was not easy to sleep although I managed. So instead of getting up at 6 or so I was awake at 7.30 yesterday morning, Saturday.  I made a beeline for the kitchen to make my first cup of coffee of the morning. Amazingly, it wasn't raining and the sun had come up (a bit) so I had to take a few photos to show you the lovely house and part of the garden - absolutely stunning, I am sure you will agree.



Simon and Gill's amazing house and garden where I am staying until this afternoon
Yesterday was the day of our St. Joseph's School reunion. In our day it was a grammar school and apparently one of the best Catholic grammar schools in the country or so we read. We were happy there and I remember my school years mostly fondly. It was run by lovely (Cross and Passion) Irish nuns but sadly today there are  none left. Joining us too were other "girls" from our year, Maureen, Catherine, Debra and Trisha.  The first item on the agenda was mass in Our Lady's Hall. Oh that hall brings back so many memories, mostly of morning assembly. We sat on the front row as you can see in the photos below. 


The mass began at around 11.30 and was conducted by the school chaplain. It was mostly focused on death, the death of past pupils and staff which wasn't exactly uplifting. In fact it had Maureen in tears. 

Mass at the school
Neither Amanda nor I are catholic and I'm not sure why we were allowed to go to St. Joseph's. Neither of us had passed our 11 plus so maybe our parents persuaded St. Wilfred (the headmistress). In any case I do remember that as non catholics we were allowed to miss mass. However, our catholic education still somehow had an effect on us. It was a happy school, not great academically, unfortunately, but the atmosphere and school culture were very positive. I was not a good girl as school and feel a bit ashamed I didn't make more of my education there. Finally though I did get my A levels but not with great grades and managed to get into Nottingham University. My much brainier or hard working friend Amanda got into Oxford which was really something special for her and the school at the time, unlike next door's Bradford Grammar School. My father taught there and it was a veritable machine for getting a large percentage of the 6th form into "Oxbridge". All these thoughts were in my head as I was sitting in Our Lady's Hall. Amanda and I and the "other girls" were at St. Joseph's (SJC) from 1968-1975. We are talking more than 50 years ago and it says something for the school if we want to go back after so long.

The event itself was nothing special and not very well organised. After the Mass and a speech by Miss Jackson (maths teacher, past pupil who retired in 2013), I leaped up into the chapel grabbing a pupil to take a group photo. Amanda and Miss Jackson laughed, the latter saying "she was just like that when she was at school". But if it hadn't been for me there wouldn't have been a photo of the day. Here is one of them - me in the middle trying to balance my knee with the torn menisco (hahahaha).
Group photo at the end of the mass during the school reunion

As to the attendants, most of us were old ladies, "girls" who had been at the school in the 40's (yes), 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's. If the school was better organised in their communication with past pupils and staff, no doubt there would have been many more old girls attending yesterday. They are very lacking in that aspect unfortunately and Amanda and I only got to go through word of mouth communication. 

From Our Lady's Hall we all headed to the dining room (canteen) for a school lunch,called "dinner" in Yorkshire. Oh that definitely brought back memories, mainly of our awful school "dinners". I used to hate the boiled cabbage and mashed potatoes served from huge steel tureens. As the puddings, mostly steamed or milky ones like rice pudding, semolina and tapioca, I hated them. So I wasn't expecting great quality but the food was edible - shepherd's pie. There was wine even if it was served in plastic glasses. 
School lunch yesterday
From the canteen we made our way to the library which is now housed in the old staff common room. There waiting for us were albums of photos and clippings all rather badly organised. Someone has to do something with the school archives. Two of our friends came across an old school magazine with a poem published there which Amanda and I had written about our old teachers, Miss Scorer (history)  Miss Fair, (Geography and head of careers) .Miss Tidmarsh (Latin), Miss Blackburn (Spanish) and Miss Doyle (French)- funny they were all spinsters I thought. We were delighted and actually remembered writing it. If you are interested, this is it. 
Poem written in the school magazine by Amanda and I when we were in 4 Kappa (4th year, aged around 13 or 14). 
Amanda came across a school handbook mostly about comportment which would be very old fashioned for today's pupils. I remember it well. Maybe I should send the school  some of my photos. I don't have many but I do have a set  I took in the 6th form probably after A levels. I once made it into a DVD to share with school friends.  We look so sluttish I'm afraid. Here it is for your enjoyment. See if you can spot me. 

After the visit to the library it was more or less the end of the school reunion and we were left to our own devices. Some of us visited parts of the school. We remembered many of them but some parts are new. The ghastly swimming pool is still there.  We used to hate swimming classes in the winter where we couldn't even dry our hair after lessons and would come out in the freezing cold. I hope they have hair dryers today. So at about 3 pm we left in the rain but I managed to get a couple of photos of the school before rushing into the car.
The school as we left yesterday
On our way home to Sowerby Bridge, we decided to drive past Amanda's old house on Yew Tree Avenue near Allerton Road and the Bradford Royal Infirmary where my dear mother died in 1999. Saturday really was a trip down memory lane.

It was on our way home that I got news from Olivia. Juliet had taken her first solo steps. Juliet is walking. We had been waiting for the moment. She is now just over 1 year and 2 months and has taken her time, bless her. You can see the historic moment in the video Oli sent me which is now on my YouTube channel. 

We came home to the welcome of Simon and Gill at their amazing, beautiful and warm home. They had even more exciting news. Their younger daughter, Abbey, had got engaged that day. Thus Gill handed us a glass of bubbly to celebrate. I wish my daughters would get engaged hahahahaha. 

We were ushered into the huge lounge made cozy by the fire and clambered onto the extremely comfortable sofas to unwind. Meanwhile, Simon was cooking us a delicious dinner of chicken and salad which we had in their amazing kitchen.

I think we were all terribly tired last night so we went to bed early, at around 10 pm. I slept well but I woke up at 6 am this morning. I have another lovely day to look forward to but not much time left in Yorkshire as I go back on Wednesday. Oh how time seems to fly past. I wish it would go a bit slower.

But we shall take things slowly this morning. Hopefully we will get a walk in and then we shall go out for a pub lunch in Hebden Bridge - apparently the "lesbian capital of the UK". I am looking forward to my first pub lunch here today and the company of Amanda, Simon and Gill. This afternoon we shall be parting company and the next stage of my trip will begin. You will hear all about it next Sunday when all will be over. My father always used to say "all good things come to an end". I should add that I will enjoy them meantime. 

Cheers then for now until next Sunday,

Masha




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