Farewell Fátima, Christmas came to our house, my best present ever , to Montrondo with Elliot, tribute to my best friend.

Sunday 8th December 2019

Fátima and I together in 1995 - we were inseparable

How are you doing? My week started beautifully but ended in tragedy as you will read. 

Last Sunday was 1st December and unusually for me we put up the Christmas decorations. I say unusually because I don't often put them up so early. However, I had got into the spirit of the season when we went into the city to do some Christmas shopping. One of the reasons too was to have them up and ready for the annual Christmas dinner party at our house with Julio and Fátima which was supposed to be tonight. My friend loved all the decorations and thought our house was like Christmas Wonderland. 

Last Sunday was a foul day for weather and we didn't venture out all day. I spent the morning making lunch (cocido madrileño) as Oli and Miguel who were coming. At about 11 am, Eladio and I started decorating the house. My ever pessimistic husband commented we would soon be taking them down again, hahaha. He was not brought up on Christmas traditions the way I was in England. It's my influence in the house that makes sure we have a Christmas up to my childhood expectations. Here he is with one of the big boxes and the small artificial tree we've had for years, in our lounge just as we were about to start.

Starting the decorating

While doing the job together I remembered all the times the girls had helped me create Christmas at home. Last year Suzy helped me and this year she won't be here. The carols I put on to accompany us cheered me up though as did lots of the mechanical gadgets I have gathered over the years when we checked to see if their batteries still worked hahaha.

It was about 13.30 while I was putting the last decorations on the tree when Miguel arrived with little Elliot who was fast asleep in his carry on car seat. We just had to place him under the tree as if he was a present. He is our best Christmas present ever.

Elliot our best Christmas present ever

Soon Oli was home after going swimming. We all had a superb lunch and then as it is the season had lots of different "turrón" (Spanish nougat hard and soft and typical at Christmas). We all had to sleep off the food afterwards and then having time on my hands I sat in the big lounge with my book - the biography of Princess Alice, mother of Prince Philip the Duke of Edinburgh - enjoying the atmosphere. I mused that Christmas had now come to our house. I had to take some photos of course but they don't do much justice. Our house does look a bit like a miniature winter wonderland with all the decorations I have collected over the years. There are 3 from my childhood, a piece of holly with silver bells and two gold painted pine cones. I remember my mother collecting the cones and George and I painting them with gold. I placed them lovingly on our tree in memory.

Christmas in the big lounge

Miguel left in the pouring rain at about 7.15 to drive back to Valencia as he was working this week. He left Oli and Elliot in good hands. Oli and I read and chatted while the little one slept for just a bit. I made our dinner, a healthy meal of baked fish and vegetables and we enjoyed chatting around the table afterwards. That evening I helped Oli bathe her darling boy, something I love doing with her.

The evening ended with us watching Salvados all about what is going on in Bolivia after Evo Morales was exiled in Mexico. It is difficult to know who to blame for all the troubles there. We then watched the final episode of season 1 of The Crown all about the impossible marriage of Princess Margaret to Peter Townsend. That was terribly unfair. I remember my mother always feeling sorry for the Princess as I think most of the country did at the time. That was the 50's and a member of the Royal family could not marry a divorcee. Thankfully things have changed today.

Monday came, the day we were going to Montrondo. Monday was also the start of the Climate Change talks in Madrid, COP 25, which should have been held in Chile but due to the disturbances there too, it moved to the capital of the country I live in. I wondered whether it would make any difference. I often wonder that about big summits. 

While that most important event was beginning, we were getting ready to set off to Montrondo via León with little Elliot. It was to be his first trip to the family's village. I remember bringing Suzy there for the first time some 35 years ago when the original house was there and no other houses had been built. There were no bathrooms at the time which was a challenge. I remember too waking up in the middle of the night to find a large spider on my baby's face. Things have progressed and we all now have smart houses which are warm and fully equipped a big difference from when I first came here with my first baby. Our girls spent all their summers here as children and were very happy as it is such a safe place. I can imagine Elliot following in their footsteps.

When you have a baby you can't rush so we didn't leave until about 11 am. He sat in his fancy, modern car seat - a far cry from how our girls traveled - and slept most of the way till Rueda, our favourite "watering hole". We always stop at the Palacio de Bornos and it is the highlight of the trip where we always have  a glass of wonderful white wine and a plate of ham and lomo. Poor Oli couldn't have the wine of course as she is breast feeding. 

Oli, Eladio and Elliot at Palacio de Bornos

That was to be our lunch. Dessert was some of the lovely white chocolate with almonds we always buy there.

Our next stop would be León where we went to see Eladio's mother at her senior citizen residence. She was to meet little Elliot for the first time, her 12th great grandchild. She was delighted to meet him although I'm not sure she knew who he was. But she loves babies and always has and kissed him with a lot of love. We had to have a photo to capture the moment of 4 generations in one picture. So here is Elliot with his mother, his grandfather and his great grandmother in what makes for a beautiful image.

4 generations in one photo

It was not only Eladio's mother who was delighted with Elliot`s visit but all her companions. I think we made their day.

From the residence we went to see Oli's aunts to show them the baby too. We were on the road again at about 5 pm and didn't get to Montrondo until it was dark. It was cold when we got there as it was throughout our stay but soon we were inside with little Elliot bundled up in a blanket just in case. Thankfully we can turn the heating on remotely. Even so, I got Eladio to put the fire on in the lounge and soon we had a nice warm house. We settled in quickly and also made our dinner quickly as we were all hungry since our plate of ham at Rueda.

I had brought only enough food for dinner and breakfast because there was no room in the car owing to all of Elliot's baby paraphernalia, especially his pram. With what I had brought we made a scrumptious dinner and then sat by the fire and the TV to watch the news. Elliot spent most of his time feeding, just looking up occasionally hahaha. We were all tired, especially Eladio, so were in bed by 11 pm.

Tuesday 3rd December came and it was Pippa's 5th birthday. Once more I have to say, how time flies. What a joy this little dog has brought to our lives. It was on her birthday that I finally managed to get a photo of little Elliot and her together, lying down peacefully. Pippa who is not good with children has now understood that our new baby is part of the "pack" and is very gentle with Elliot. Here they are lying together. No worries my friends, we would still not leave them together alone. But I do love to see this image, my two great loves together.

Pippa and Elliot lying down together peacefully

For her birthday Pippa got bits of chorizo, some of our lamb steak and also a few prawns. No cake for her, she far prefers protein hahahaha.

It was cold all day but beautifully sunny and at about 11 am off we went to Villablino, the nearest town, some 19km away along the most amazing mountain road. It was to be Elliot's first trip there and he behaved beautifully. We went to Gadis, that superb supermarket which is only located in the north of Spain unfortunately. Here we stocked up on provisions for the week and more.

Shopping at Gadis with Elliot

As tradition dictates, after our shopping we went to have a coffee at a nearby bar called "La Clave". We sat by the window with the sun streaming in and couldn't have felt more content. Little Elliot was oblivious to the moment, preferring to sleep on Eladio's shoulders.

Coffee in Villablino

Before we left, Oli wanted to buy some more Christmas lottery and so we did. Thus we packed little Elliot into a baby haversack (if that's what it's called) which Eladio wore for the first time. I think he loved it and the baby didn't move.  Oli and I bought 2 tickets each with the same numbers so that if they were winning tickets we would both win. I wonder if we will though as the lottery owner said the Christmas lottery had never been won at her establishment. Well, we like to dream don't we. Oli took this photo of us with our tickets outside the kiosk.

With our lottery tickets in Villablino

We were home by 2 pm and had lunch late. Then it was time for a short nap before going out again. We went for our walk at about 5 pm and would just have one hour's day light. It was freezing cold but we were all wrapped up well.

On Elliot's first walk in Montrondo on Tuesday

It was to be Elliot's first walk in Montrondo. On our way we passed several villagers; Pili, Josefa and Salo who were all delighted to meet the new baby.

The evening was spent leisurely making our dinner and later watching a new film on Netflix, The Irishman, by Scorsese with actors Al Pacino and Robert de Niro. It has been heavily promoted but none of us were impressed.

Wednesday came and brought bad news but I wasn't to hear about it until later in the afternoon. All the days we were in Montrondo I was in contact with my dear friend Fátima who was so ill and everything seemed fine. To tell the truth I didn't want to go away in case she had a turn for the worse but last weekend she seemed fine. That morning a friend, Vicente, an ex Motorola colleague rang me as he was worried she hadn't answered his call. That was quite normal I assured him as my friend often doesn't respond to her phone. That morning too, Julio and I agreed a date for our annual Christmas dinner at our place so I rang my friend too. There was no answer. I then tried her daughter and their house phone to no avail.

So off we went on our walk with the niggling feeling something wasn't right but I told myself not to worry as neither of the Fátimas usually answer. Our walk was glorious and sunny. Elliot slept throughout in his state of the art pram. We walked to Senra and back which is about 8 km so quite a stretch. On our way we saw the cows and horses in the fields enjoying the sun. They were a sight for sore eyes, especially these piebald ones with the backdrop of the snow capped mountains.

Horses in the fields against a backdrop of snow capped mountains on our walk on Wednesday

Leaving Murias for Senra, once again I looked at the small red door of the last house of the village. I commented to Oli what a tiny door it had, shorter even than me and I am only 5ft 4 inches or was as no doubt age has made me shrink. Oli had to have a photo and this is it; me by the little red door in Murias de Paredes.

Me by the little red door on the way out of Murias and which is shorter even than me. 

Our destination was the bar in Senra with the grumpy owner, Cumbres de Omaña. There we enjoyed a coffee sitting outside in the sun; sun in December which I always appreciate.

Coffee in the sun in Senra on Wednesday

We came home for me to finish making our lunch; fresh hake fried in breadcrumbs with runner beans and carrots and then it was time for the news. The stories of the day were the Nato summit in London and the COP25 event in Madrid. Oli and I watched a silly film on Netflix while Elliot played up all afternoon.

It was then that I finally got news about my friend. Her daughter rang to tell me that that morning at 8 am, she had been rushed to hospital after a coughing attack which had left her unable to breathe. I heard how my poor dear friend was attached to oxygen with one lung not functioning and the other one only at 30% and that she had pneumonia. I was devastated to hear how ill she was and that she was in hospital while I was far away in Montrondo. I told Oli and Eladio that we should cut short our trip and return home as soon as possible the next day so that I could be with Fátima and her family. I so regretted having left Madrid and wished I had never come. But there was nothing I could do until I got back which was so frustrating.

I had invited the village ladies to afternoon tea the next day but I had to cancel the invitation. I went over to Salo's house to tell her and Pili and Josefa who were there with her. After telling them the very sorry reason, I spent some lovely time in their company and they cheered me up with village news.

I came home to make our dinner, helped by Olivia while Elliot's grandfather looked after him. Later Eladio and I watched more of The Crown which helped me take my mind off worries about my friend in hospital. I couldn't wait to get home and be with her and hoped and prayed all would be alright although I dreaded the worst.

I was awake at 6.15 on Thursday morning. I wanted to leave as soon as possible but with a baby you just can't rush. We weren't home until 4. I was about to leave in my car when Fatíma daughter rang to say that at an hour earlier they had sedated my best friend. I was by her side some 20 minutes later until she took her last breath. I am eternally grateful to her family for letting me be with them at that most intimate moment. I can only hope my best friend and soul sister could hear me say goodbye and tell her how much I love her. We were all devastated and stayed with her for many hours until we really had to go. I felt bereft but above all I felt so terribly sorry for her darling daughter. They were one person in two and her sweet and loving daughter Fátima now has to face life without her. That tears me apart.

If that day, 5th December was one of the most difficult in my life, the next day was equally or even more so. I was up early and printed photos of Fátima to put in the funeral parlour. I was there by 9.30 and soon many familiar faces were turning up. The family came together in mourning and we all tried to comfort them as much as we could. The funeral was to be at 5 pm and I came home with Eladio, Oli and little Elliot to have lunch.  Before leaving for the funeral, I took the time to read through all my whatsapp messages with my dear friend Fátima. They are part of what I have left of her. In so many of her messages she tells me just how much she loves me. They brought me comfort as I read them and no doubt I shall read them again and again. Many people have comforted me, old colleagues and friends and I am very grateful.

We arrived just on on time  and her family let me see her for the last time ever when they removed the lid of her coffin to say our final goodbyes. What a moment.  The funeral in the chapel was beautiful. I was honoured to be one of the people to read during the mass but it was Fátima junior's moving speech that had us all crying and clapping. She wanted the funeral to be happy, for us not to wear black and to be a celebration of her mother's life and that is what is was.  Yesterday I wrote a tribute to my best friend which you can read below:

Tribute to Fátima, my best friend and soul sister.

My dearest, dearest friend. I can’t  believe you are no longer with us anymore. What am I going to do without you? You have been my friend and soul mate since we first met as young women in 1990 when we worked for Motorola, aged just 29 (you) and 33 (me). Our friendship was forged forever when we were sent on a trip together to the Tour of Catalonia with the Motorola Cycling team. Overnight we became best friends. We told each other our life stories and yours was a miracle.

Your mother gave birth to you after just 6 months of pregnancy. There was little chance of your living. You were born at one of the infamous clinics in Madrid where babies were robbed. You were nearly robbed, you nearly died. Your mother named you after the Virgin of Fátima and you lived. We are all grateful for that.

When you were dying you told me you were grateful for a wonderful life. You are very generous because your life wasn’t always wonderful but you are the most positive person I have ever known and whatever the obstacles, you lived life to the full with a permanent smile on your face. You were a very good person. Sometimes I said you were too good for this life. Ah but you hated injustice (I always said you should have been a judge or a lawyer). And when injustice crossed your life you fought like a lioness to make things good. You are the strongest person I have ever known; so strong that you fought your 4^th stage irreversible cancer and lived life to the full, getting the most out of the three years you lasted. Most people would have given up. But you had something unjust to fight for, leaving behind your one and only adored daughter, Fátima who is just a teenager.

Her life is a miracle too. I remember when you were nearly 40, regretting not having had a child and then, by magic, you got pregnant. I think I was the first person to know. You had a difficult pregnancy, being bed ridden for 9 months and I was there for you as you were always there for me. I used to take you food which we called “meals on wheels”.  After your miracle daughter was born, you lived for her and for her alone. Your capacity for love was amazing. Your last words to everyone were “I love you, I love you, I love you”.  You went in peace with yourself and with life, your only regret, leaving your most beloved daughter alone in the world aged just 19. You made us all promise to look after her and that is what we shall try to do. She will be without her adored mother but loved and cared for by her Uncle Manolo and Aunt and Uncle Gloria and Carlos and their two wonderful daughters, Piyoyo (Gloria) and Sara, who are like sisters to her. She will also have your whole network of friends looking out for her.

At work we became known as “Pin and Pon” because we were inseparable. We loved that and decided you would be “Pin” and I would be “Pon” because you were thinner than me. We were young and beautiful at the time but neither of us were really aware of it. We worked alongside each other for 9 years at Motorola and then I went to work for Nokia. I had to have you there with me and our fellow friend, Julio, hired you when you were 9 months pregnant. We became close and the three of us were like the “3 musketeers”.  

The 3 Nokia musketeers: Fátima, Julio and me

You studied to be a lawyer but your job was as a telecommunications engineer. I wonder how many engineers could do the job of a lawyer? But you could have done any job as you were so clever and intelligent. You were always much more so than me and got me out of more than one scrape. No one ever knew I was useless at excel sheets.  Despite years in the corporate world they were always a challenge. But you were there to help me, you were always there. We made a good team. I always did the glamorous work and you always did the hard work needed for my events to be a success. You did so to perfection because that was how you were; a hard worker and perfectionist. You were the hard worker and I was the creative person always coming up with crazy ideas that you loved.  You were the good girl and I was the bad girl. So, what drew us to each other? Our sense of humour and sense of fun was part of it. We always had fun working together and whenever there was a challenge our laughter got us through whatever was overcoming us. 

Laughing together

Working alongside you was my best professional experience ever. We complemented each other and made the best team ever at work and at play.

Whenever we could we made sure our business trips coincided. So close were we, more than one suspected we were lovers which used to make us laugh. Far from it, we were like sisters. Fátima you are the sister I never had but you know that.

In the three years since you were diagnosed with that most dreaded illness, cancer, I came to admire you even more than before if that is possible. You fought the disease like no one ever has. You even amazed your doctors with your attitude. Your positive attitude and will to live, to fight the biggest injustice of your life, made you live those 3 years to the full. You didn’t even look ill, you didn’t even lose your hair so it was difficult to believe you were. I think I was in denial, never really believing that we would lose you until just a month ago or you told me. You told me your doctor had said there was no more treatment and that you had just one month or two to live. That’s when I finally faced the facts. We hugged and cried together. You astounded me by telling me you were determined to live every day you had left to the full. You were already on morphine but you kept your promise. I spent a lot of time with you in this last month. You were surrounded by friends and family, holding court with your pain at home and your amazing daughter looking after your every need. You said to me “my dearest, don’t be sad. We all come here to leave this earth. It’s my turn now and I leave at peace and feeling happy, grateful and fortunate for the life I have led, but above all for being so fortunate and grateful because this life has given me the best friend I could ever have. Thank you my friend for being at my side always”.

I was at her side very often or I tried to be. I was in Montrondo in the north of Spain, 4 hours from Madrid when I heard that she had been taken into hospital on Wednesday 4^th December 2019 with pneumonia and little time to live. I shall always regret having gone away and not being there when she was admitted to hospital. I rushed back the next day and was by her side just after she had been sedated. I didn’t get to say goodbye and I can only hope that she heard me talk to her in that last hour before she left us. Her adoring family gave me the privilege of being with her until the end. I sat with her, talked to her, touched her and kissed her with all my love until her last breath at 17.10 on 5^th December 2019, aged just 58; too young to go.

I feel bereft. Who will I turn to now when I need a friend to talk to, to tell her my joys, my troubles and my secrets? She is my other half, my better half because she was a better person than me. I can only console myself living on memories of our friendship and by carrying her in my heart.

Fátima, thank you for being the best friend ever. Thank you for the good times and for the bad times. I love you and will love you always. 

I came home from the funeral with a very heavy heart and managed a few mouthfuls for dinner accompanied by Eladio, Oli and Elliot. It is Elliot who keeps me going.

I was awake at 6.15 yesterday after a very unsettled night. I am grieving I suppose and only time will heal me. Life continued as it does of course and Eladio and I went to do the necessary food shopping. We went to have a coffee too at the churros place nearby. Just as we were about to leave we had the pleasure of seeing Fátima junior, her uncle Manolo, Aunt Gloria and Sara. It was lovely to see them again and I invited them to tea this afternoon. I hope they come.  I need them now as they are all I have left of my dear friend.

We had a quiet lunch with my father, then a short snooze after which Eladio and I went on a well needed walk. The joy of the day was the visit of Oli's school friend, Sonia, who we had not seen for so many years, we hardly recognised her. Here she is holding little Elliot, the light of our lives.

Oli's school friend Sonia with little Elliot yesterday afternoon

The day ended with bathing little Elliot with Oli, a job I love, dinner together and then another episode of The Crown to take my mind of sadder thoughts. Fátima loved that series as she loved and was fascinated by all things British. We both loved Downton Abbey too. One of my loveliest memories of her was when, years ago, we happened to be in London for some business meeting. On the spur of the moment, I suggested that instead of flying home to Madrid, we took the train up to Bradford, my home town as a young girl, to spend the weekend with my parents. I loved the fact that she loved my mother and that my mother loved her. That weekend staying at our old house at 6 Heaton Grove is one of those amazing memories I shall carry with me always. 

Today is Sunday. We had set today for this year's annual Christmas dinner at our house for the "3 musketeers". If Fátima had lived, we would have had our annual January Three Kings' dinner too  at Julio's. But that is not to be and makes me very sad. Thankfully I will have her family here today and I hope she is looking down and can see us, carrying on the tradition, one I will miss terribly as I will miss her terribly. 

Now I have to face life without my best friend. She loved my blog and was an avid reader of it and follower. Life is so unfair isn't it. She, more than anyone would agree.

That's it my friends for this week, one of the worst of my life.

Cheers till next time,
Masha

Copi met Elliot, Spain wins its 6th Davis Cup, violence against women, shopping with the Yuca app, Nokia dinner in honour of Fátima, Christmas shopping in Madrid and other stories.

Sunday 1st December 2019

The Nokia family dinner to celebrate Fátima's life on Thursday night

Good  morning everyone.

How have you all been? Today is the 1st December, officially, in my mind, the start of the Christmas season although in shops the official start is practically the 1st October. Not in our house I can tell you. Being 1st December I plan to decorate our house today, something I look forward to every year. 

Last Sunday was a busy and enjoyable day. I had a bit of a frantic morning as I had to write a press release, make lunch for 8 and go on our walk, all before 2 pm when Oli's guests, Copi her mother Celeste and her fiancé, Unai, were coming to lunch.

As the superwoman I am I had written and sent off the first draft of my press release by 9.30 a.m. I then set about making lasagne for 8 people with Oli watching me while she had her breakfast and  little Elliot slept. That day he seemed to be asleep nearly all the time.

He slept throughout his walk with us when we took him in the pram. The shooters were out and we heard their shots killing poor innocent rabbits which always disgusts me but all in all we had a nice sunny walk. Here are Eladio, Oli and the baby in his pram just as we set off.

On our walk on Sunday

We were home by 1.30 and I hurriedly put the ovens on to bake the lasagnes worrying that I didn't have much time. However, our guests did not arrive until nearly 3 pm, an hour later than our lunch time. We knew they would be late - Copi always is - so I sat my father down to eat at 2 pm. Oli's guests arrived loaded with food to complement the already heavy lunch. Celeste had made a tortilla, roast peppers and a concoction of red cabbage and apples plus prawns and goodness knows what else. Oh, yes and  she brought her home made "torrijas" a sort of Spanish French toast very popular here at Easter. Oli loves them; I am not so keen as they are very heavy. 

It was to be the first time Copi set her eyes on Elliot and she loved him. Copi and Unai are engaged but won't tie the knot for three years. They are saving up for the wedding of the century (hahhaa) which none of us would miss for the world as we all consider Copi  part of the family. Neither of them want children. We all did our best to encourage them during Sunday lunch but no amount of persuasion would help to change their minds. 

Copi meets Elliot

They left at around 5.30 and the three of us went upstairs to spend the rest of the evening watching TV until, guess what? It was time for more food; aka dinner hahaha.

I suggested to Oli that we watch The Crown from season 1 as she has never seen it. Thus we did just that. The problem with my husband and daughter is that their knowledge of the British Royal family is very limited so I spent most of the two episodes  explaining who was who. Oli may be half English because of me but neither she nor her sister Suzy have any sort of sense of love for British traditions and institutions; something I blame myself for.

Dinner was some of Celeste's lovely food. It's probably lovely because she cooks with an awful lot of olive oil which we supposedly healthy eaters try not to do. It was to be our last dinner with Oli and Elliot on their own as Miguel would be returning that night after a week of work away in Valencia.

After dinner we lay little Elliot on our bed and he loved it. Here is Eladio playing with him.

Eladio and Elliot last Sunday

It was Elliot's bath time and  we practically had to wake up to bathe him but he didn't seem to mind. It was to be his third bath without crying although he is still not sure and crosses his arms firmly against his chest with tight fists as if to protect himself. I just had to have a photo. He looks a little wary doesn't he?

Elliot getting used to his bath - notice how he protects himself with his arms and fists hahahaha.

Both Oli and I missed the news but were delighted to hear later that Spain had won the Davis Cup which had been held in Madrid.  This was Spain's 6th Davis Cup title. The finals were on Sunday between Spain and Canada after the team led by Nadal  who won every match he played, beat both England and Argentina to sail through to the finals. Nadal ends the 2019 season with an amazing record as well as remaining the number one seed. He is really Spain's best ambassador. Just look at his record for this year.

Nadal's extraordinary season with the Davis Cup being the cherry on the cake last Sunday

I dread the day Nadal retires. Who could possibly replace him in Spain? He is this country's best ambassador and is loved all over the world, not just because of his amazing tennis talent but because of the gentleman he is. Winning the Davis Cup was a great end to a remarkable 2019 for Spain's best tennis player ever. Well done Spain. I should also add well done Roberto Bautista, a member of the Spanish squad who had to drop out when his father died. But then he came back to help the team win. Just how he could do that during bereavement is quite remarkable.

This year's Davis Cup had a new format, dreamed up, by the way by the Barça football player, Piqué. This was the first edition of the Davis Cup Finals, a one week, one city tournament to conclude it without home and away ties. It made for a very intense week of tennis with some matches ending at 4 in the morning.  

Our day ended watching "Salvados". Last Sunday focused on the opinions of the leaders of different autonomous regions of Spain, the Basques, the "Gallegos", the Catalans, etc and their grievance towards Madrid. They do not have my sympathy as they try to break up this wonderful country.

Monday came. It was the International Day for the elimination of violence against women and demonstrations took part all over the world. This is a problem no country is free of and it makes my blood boil every time I hear another woman has been killed by her partner. Men killing women, women they consider they own. How can this be happening in the western world still in 2019 I ask myself? I don't have the answer. It has always happened and always will. What is the answer? Education is what most experts say but I think that's only part of the answer.  It's a cultural thing and is due, very often,  to alcohol consumption and the very basic fact that men are physically stronger than women. The figures are chilling. I couldn't find a figure for the amount of women killed by their partners worldwide but just the fact that 35% of women worldwide have experienced either physical or sexual violence is frightening. In Spain alone more than 52 women have been killed this year. In France where laws need to be updated the figure is 137. In the UK every three days a woman is killed by her partner. God knows what these figures are in countries in the Middle East where there are probably no statistics of any kind.  According to one chart I found, it seems Africa is the worst place for a woman to live with Latin America coming a close second.

So no, I wasn't out on the streets but my heart was with the women protesting and with the relatives and friends of each and every woman killed due to domestic violence. In England when I was a child it used to be called "wife battering". God, what a term.  I can only thank my lucky stars neither my daughters nor myself are in any of these statistics. I am so lucky to have the wonderful father and wonderful husband I have who wouldn't hurt a fly.

Monday was another cold and miserable November day. I couldn't wait for November to be over. That morning I went to see my dear friend Fátima who I know would agree with me about domestic violence. We were joined by Cris M, a dear friend from our Nokia Days. Cristina together with Paloma who have been with the company 20 years are still the heart and soul of the Spanish branch of that Finnish company. We spent most of the morning with Fátima and her daughter Fátima. Little Fátima is my friend's main carer and has stopped going to University so as to look after her mother and care for her every need. The University has been very understanding and allowed her to keep up with her studies at home. She is so brave and strong, just like her mother although no doubt she is suffering terribly but puts on a brave face. Every time I see my dear friend who is getting weaker and weaker and undergoing a lot of pain, I appreciate just how brave and courageous she is and can only admire her positive attitude in these most difficult circumstances. We would meet again on Thursday when she would make a supreme effort to go out and attend the Nokia dinner in her honour. It would be another celebration of her life and I knew she was looking forward to it. God bless her.

We all had lunch together after which Oli, Elliot and Miguel left to go to the doctor about little Elliot's colic and then on to their own apartment for some time alone. Eladio went out too on errands and I spent a quiet afternoon on my own. I was interrupted by a very welcome phone call from my dear University friend, Adele, who lives in France. We chatted while she was driving home from work and caught up on our lives. Oh how I wish she and my other friends; Sandra, Kathy, Anne and Amanda lived nearer.

The rest of the day panned out in a similar way to this period of the year and I woke up early again on Tuesday morning. 

Tuesday was our weekly shopping day and out we went before our walk. A new food and cosmetic evaluation app called Yuka now helps us with our shopping as I think it does a lot of people. Have you heard of it? It was my "son-in-law", Miguel, who introduced it to us. I now see other people using it at the supermarkets. Yuka is a mobile app that scores food and cosmetic products by scanning the bar code. The company hasn't analysed products itself but uses the information in the bar code to do so. Thus it's completely independent.

Logo of the Yuka application

It gives products a mark out of 100% and now has Eladio and I scanning every bar code we see on food and cosmetic products. When the result is poor or bad, we just stop buying the product. People are using the app more and more with 5 million downloads on apple and android. It's quite an amazing development which no doubt if used by enough people could influence the food and cosmetic industry. If you don't have it yet, I recommend you try it. From what I have read, supermarkets here, especially Mercadona, are fearful of it. I tried scanning some of their up till now very popular cosmetic products and they all fail the test. Hopefully this will encourage supermarkets to improve what could  be dangerous products to our health. When I say dangerous, I refer to the additives and harmful ingredients they contain and that up till now we used unknowingly. So, if next time you go shopping and see people scanning products, you will know what they are doing.

The remainder of the day was quiet. We missed little Elliot who this week was with his parents at their apartment. However, we got photos, like the one below of the dear little boy enjoying  time on this remarkable interactive play mat.

Elliot enjoying his toy mat

Wednesday came and it was a sunny day. It was a break from this rather gloomy month of November. I was cheered up too when my Christmas hamper arrived from The British Corner Shop Online. I always buy Christmas fare from them that I can't get here, including Christmas pudding, cranberry sauce, sage and onion stuffing, mince pies, not to mention all the chocolates and more crackers. I even got a Cadburys selection box for my Father.  I couldn't resist the box of chocolates from Thorntons either. This make is British and originally from Yorkshire. I do remember there being a Thorntons shop in Bradford where my father and I used to indulge our taste for chocolate. It really is superb. This is the hamper.

My Christmas hamper from The British Corner Shop online

Christmas isn't here yet but I can assure you I am already planning ours. The only sad part will be not having Suzy with us. It will be the first time ever that we are not all together. Thankfully we will have Elliot instead.

We spoke to Suzy that morning; the best time to call her as Bali is 7 hours ahead. She was in fine spirits and happy about her new home. We are already planning a trip, in our heads, to see her after the rainy season possibly in March or April. She talked of us riding scooters as it's the best way of getting around. She even said she could take the two of us on hers. Somehow I can't see that happening hahahaha. I wonder whether we will like Bali a place which was never on my bucket list but now is as my daughter lives there.

I was on my own for my walk that day though I took Pippa along of course. Eladio had to go into Madrid on an errand. He was back for lunch after which we watched the news and snoozed. The news this week brought the story of the terrible earthquake in Albania, a country which I know nothing about but am curious to know more because of its hermetic communist past. There were more disturbances around the world including strikes in Colombia. In Spain of course the main topic is forming a new government that  will have to rely on the ERC Catalan party which in exchange will insist on a referendum for independence. In the UK news of the upcoming election dominated the media there. In the US, the impeachment process of Donald Trump continued. I doubt though that he will ever be ousted. Can't stand the man.

Thursday came and would be the highlight of the week because of the Nokia dinner in honour of Fátima who, as my best friend, is on my mind the whole time. But there was a whole day to go before it took place.

Oli cheered up our day when she sent us a lovely of photo of dear little Elliot. He now weighs 5.5kg and measures 61 cm, so a very bonny baby.

Not so little Elliot on Thursday morning.

As I was having my early breakfast I got a sudden Airbnb booking for Thursday, Friday and Saturday night which pleased me as the rooms were vacant and November is a very quiet month. A family of four with two children from Virginia were coming. Thursday of course was Thanksgiving and I was surprised to have a US family come to stay on that so important date for Americans. It was an Afro  American family that arrived later in the day in a rental car but it held 5 passengers, not 4 which the mother, Aspen, had booked for. That's happened before; people booking for fewer guests than those staying. They were a very young family and both parents were wearing a sweat shirt with the words: "God is Dope"! They kept saying "yes mam" a term I am not used to. I kept saying, please call me Masha to which they replied "yes mam".

They came at about 6 pm and not long after I started getting ready to go out. I drove to Fátima's house to pick her  up. Her daughter would join us later as she hadn't finished getting ready, so busy was she helping her mother to get ready. So I drove my dearest friend and we traveled together. She cried telling me she felt so much worse and was declining rapidly. All I could do was drive with one hand and hold her hand with my free hand while we cried together. Three weeks ago when we held the Motorola dinner she was much stronger but that night I think was too much for her. Even so she wanted to go and wanted to see all her Nokia colleagues, the company she worked for from 2000 until 2017. I was there with her from 2000 to 2005 but of course knew many of the guests. 32 of them came which was quite a number. We sat her down immediately as it's difficult for her to walk or stand now as she is so weak. That day her doctor doubled her morphine dosage and all that that means. She was delighted to see so many friendly faces and they were happy to see her too although we all felt sad. I kept insisting the night was a celebration of Fátima's life and a homage to her. And it was, although tinged with great sadness. But what an amazing and courageous friend I have whose positive attitude has been a constant throughout her illness and an inspiration to us all.

The happy part of the dinner was being reunited with friends I hadn't seen for a long time and those I had but always love seeing: Jill, Juana, Oscar, Susana, Julio, Paloma, Carmencita, Ana V and others. I arranged for Fátima to sit in the middle of the main table with her colleagues rather than her daughter or me who she sees all the time. Thus I sat with my former colleagues. Here are Susana, Jill and Ana, my dear Nokia girl friends who I love. Ana who has a very high up job in HP as one of their top legal counsels, had cancelled a trip to be there that night. Thank you Anita.

Ana, Jill and Susana

Perhaps the person I was happiest to see was Carmen or Carmencita. She had been my trainee in the early 2000s and today she is a successful co-owner of 2 outstanding music schools. I love her so. Here we are together. She is now 44 but I hired her when she was in her early 20s. How time flies. But we took up just where we had left off.

With my beloved Carmencita

We had lots to catch up on and it was lovely to sit with my old colleagues and friends. Throughout I kept a close eye on my friend Fátima to see how she was doing. The dinner was long and drawn out as our numbers were big so before the dessert was served I went to see how she was. She agreed to going home as she was exhausted. Before doing so, she made the huge effort of making a short speech with everyone looking on and we clapped when she finished and then had a group photo.

Fátima making her haltering and emotional speech

I was worried the effort of the night had been too much for her. It obviously had but she was delighted to attend such a memorable night, surrounded by loving and appreciative colleagues to whom she said goodbye that night. The group photo is the one I have chosen to illustrate this week's post. We took her outside gently towards her daughter's car and as we did, we all cried and hugged her as she went off smiling gently and thanking everyone for coming. I was very moved as were we all. None of us had the heart to stay on much longer and soon, one by one, we hugged and said our goodbyes. I was home by midnight. Eladio was still awake and I told him about the night. I was wide awake and could not sleep so we watched more of The Crown season 1 which we started watching recently after finishing season 3. It was a good ploy to keep my mind off sadder things.

Friday came. It was Black Friday, an American tradition celebrated the day after Thanksgiving which in recent years has been adopted worldwide. I do not give a damn about Black Friday and refuse to succumb to a tradition I was not brought up on. For me it's jut one big consumer ploy.

Facebook reminded me that day of a family excursion to the Rioja region with my father ten years ago that day. Here we are 10 years ago, the five of us. Copi, the girls' friend, commented wryly that, apart from "Grandpa" we all looked a lot better today. Can that be true? I well remember us going to stay at the Calahorra  Parador 10 years ago. In the photo we are at the Márques de Riscal bodega where we had the most stupendous lunch at the restaurant housed at the hotel of the same name and what  a hotel it is. Built by Frank Gehry, it is one of the leading hotels of the world. I have been lucky to stay there on a number of occasions and even once held a Yoigo dinner there. No doubt my father remembers our lovely trip to Spain's famous wine region as we do.

A family trip to La Rioja with my father 10 years ago. 

The girls were 24 and 25 at the time and I was 52! How time has flown. I say that a lot in my blog but it is so true.

I spent most of Friday morning cooking and doing errands, my mind mostly on Fátima. The only thing that comforts me now is little Elliot so I was delighted to see more photos of him that day, like the one below. You have to agree again that he is a beautiful baby.

Elliot, a beautiful boy

After a short siesta I set off on foot to Fátima's house worried about how she was feeling after the exhausting night. It's a 25 minute walk and I was accompanied by my classical Spotify play list using my blue tooth head phones Suzy bought me for Christmas a few years ago.

Soon I was at my dear friend's house. She was feeling dopey from the extra morphine but was no longer in pain. We sat in her lounge going over the night before, smiling and crying. A friend and neighbour came to bring her some shopping. It's great to see how all her friends and neighbours are rallying around  and helping. But above all it is her daughter who is her one and only carer and what a carer she is. Fátima daughter has stopped going to lectures as I said and is there for everything her mother needs. For them this time is precious and I was worried all my visiting may feel intruding but they assured me I was welcome always. Fátima is like the sister I never had and now I getting closer and closer to her amazing young daughter who is shouldering responsibilities far beyond her 19 years. I admire them both.

I had to interrupt my visit at about 7 pm when I got a sudden Airbnb reservation from an Italian girl who was coming that night for 2 days. She would occupy Andy's room as he has gone home to France this weekend. Thank goodness for Lucy who, when I got back, had the room all ready. We needn't have panicked though as she didn't arrive until 11 pm although she said she would be coming at 8.30. Our latest check in time is 9 pm but few guests read the small print in my listings.

Eladio and I didn't see her though that night as we had a dinner date at Oli and Miguel's. We were much looking forward to it and to seeing Elliot. The last time we had been there was the night before Suzy left. Oh how I miss Suzy. But I spoke to her on the phone on Friday morning. She needed advice from me as she had been asked to be an MC at the opening of a new building at a local hotel. I had plenty to give but the main message was "be yourself".

We missed Suzy that night but it was great to see little Elliot. While Miguel and Oli prepared the dinner, Eladio and I entertained him. He is so sweet and gets excited when he is happy by kicking his feet and stretching his arms. He especially likes being talked to and occasionally rewards us with a smile. He was quite good that night and let us all enjoy the delicious dinner: excellent steak, cooked to perfection; raw as we like it, with chips, amazing cherry tomatoes and lettuce. We all ate far too much as the food was just divine. We left at about 11 pm after a delightful family evening.

There was no sign of any of our guests as we returned. I counted that we were 10 people sleeping that night but as our house is so big you would never notice as people come and go at different times.  We were soon in bed and just before starting another episode of The Crown, I had a quick look at the news on my phone and I was aghast as I read there had been another terrorist stabbing attack on London Bridge in the heart of the British capital. Oh my God how awful. The terrorist who had been in jail and was known to the police, stabbed and killed two people and injured three more. It was passers-by who detained him before the police arrived and shot him dead. How brave those passers-by were. He was holding two enormous kitchen knives and wearing a false suicide bomb jacket yet they went for him without thinking about their own lives. Commendable. That was a terrible end to Friday.

Saturday came and Eladio and I were going to do something different that day. I wanted to go to a Christmas market I had heard was being held by the German Lutheran church in Madrid. I know the Germans are good at Christmas and I was hoping to come by some good decorations to add to my ever increasing supply. We would make a day of it, have lunch in town and also visit the Spanish Christmas market in the Plaza Mayor, the heart of the old city. For lunch we were doing something different too. Fátima's neighbour who I met on Friday works for a chain of American restaurants which, no doubt you have heard of but I hadn't; Five Guys and gave us a free invitation to use at any of the 10 restaurants in Madrid. It was an offer I couldn't resist. Five Guys is a sort of healthy McDonalds and is supposed to be Barack Obama's favourite. The story goes, the President rang once and asked for a hamburger to be delivered to The White House. He was told they don't deliver and would have to go to the restaurant. And to the restaurant he went. What a stir he must have caused but what amazing publicity he gave the chain which became famous almost overnight.

It's something of a tradition for Eladio and I to go into the city at Christmas time and we enjoyed ourselves tremendously as we do every year. We left our car at the nearest metro stop and took the train into the city. We got out at Plaza de España and first things first, we went to have a coffee. There was a Starbucks right in front of us but we preferred going to the newly built Riu Plaza Hotel which for years had been a white elephant type building but is now a luxury hotel. We had a coffee together and yes I also had a pain au chocolat, in the lobby cafeteria.

Coffee at the Riu Plaza Hotel.

There I met and chatted to a lovely family from Manchester who had come to Madrid for football. From Hale, they were football mad. It was lovely to talk to them.

From the hotel we strolled up the Gran Via,  one of Madrid's main thoroughfares. At a traditional luxury looking shoe shop - Bravo Java -  I spied some elegant blue suede Cambridge brogues which I just had to buy for Eladio for Christmas. He liked them too although, as usual, protested a bit about going into the shop. You see he hates shopping for shoes and clothes, hahaha. Here he is outside the shop after our purchase.

Eladio holding his Christmas present 

The Gran Via is famous for its theatres and cinemas.  We went past the one where I had put on the Yoigo launch now 12 years ago. I also saw Amazon's new cinema where we once went to see the film Gandhi many years ago, before the American online giant was  even in the thinking. The Callao Plaza was teeming with people, as was the Preciados street which leads off it and which is the most famous commercial street in Spain.

The Preciados street off Callao teeming with people

There were giant "Menina" statues everywhere in Madrid, like the one in the picture. They are inspired by Velazquez' best known painting which is perhaps the Prado's most famous work of art. 

We saw people queueing up to buy Christmas lottery tickets for the "El Gordo" prize which is drawn on 22nd December and has the biggest prize in the world.  The queue was at the most famous lottery seller, Doña Manolita. We would not be queueing but would later buy our tickets from a reseller who had queued and who charges 2 euros extra per ticket. A ticket (un décimo) costs 20 euros. 

People outside the most popular lottery seller in Spain, Doña Manolita

We had bought Eladio's Christmas present so it was time to buy mine. I wanted a smart black coat and we went into Zara. We bought a very beautiful and modern one which Eladio assured me I looked great in. 

From Preciados we walked to the end of the street until we reached the very centre of Spain, the Puerta del Sol. It was here Eladio bought the lottery tickets, 6 of them. Wish us luck. If we win, we could become millionaires, hahaha, well not quite. But we could win up to 400.000 euros for each ticket if it hits the El Gordo jackpot. Wouldn't that be nice?

Eladio buying this year's Christmas lottery tickets a very Spanish tradition

From the Puerta del Sol we walked to the Plaza Mayor, Madrid's most beautiful old square, to see the Christmas Market. It's not great shakes, nothing like you see in Germany or Scandinavia but there is one stall where I buy something every year. This year I bought a musical box. I just love them, don't you? Here I am at the square yesterday.

At the Christmas market in the Plaza Mayor yesterday

The Plaza Mayor was a stone's throw from the nearest Five Guys restaurant on the Toledo Street. It would never have been our choice as neither of us are fans of burger joints, but we were not going to look a gift horse in the mouth as we had a free invitation and also I was curious to try Obama's favourite burgers.  So what did I think of it? Well, not much. The worst thing is the loud music which we found unbearable. The burgers are ok but you can't choose how you want your meat, rare, medium, etc. As I like my meat rare, I didn't like the overcooked burger I tried there. The chips are good but the milkshake is awful as it's just full of sugar. I asked if they could do a milk shake without added sugar and they can't. So we didn't drink it. We ate our meal as quickly as possibly and left very soon. We will not be going back to Five Guys but appreciate the invitation. The place is not for us.

From Five Guys we decided to walk to the German Christmas Market just off the Colon square which is quite a walk. When we got there we saw a gigantic queue and reluctantly, at least for me, we turned on our heels and walked away. It had been the main inspiration to visit Madrid yesterday but no way was I waiting 2 hours outside to go into a teeming market and more queueing. From Colón, we made our way to the Alonso Martínez metro stop to make our way home. We loved our trip to Madrid and enjoyed walking along streets with lots of Christmas atmosphere, but we had had enough and wanted to bolt home to where we live, outside the city with lots of green and space as well as peace and quiet, the opposite to the centre of the city. 

Thus we missed the Christmas lights. They are much talked about in the media but I know deep down they will never compare to the Christmas lights in London. I remember very well, my father's sister and my beloved Aunty Gloria, taking us into London to see the lights when we were children. So I was shocked yesterday when I came across a photo of the beautifully decorated and sparkling entrance to the House of Fraser department store with people sleeping in tents underneath. This is the  photo taken by Cliff Judson and which shows the bleak reality of poverty versus wealth in so-called "sparkling London". 

Cliff Judson's photo of The House of Fraser, the luxury Christmas decor and the homeless sleeping underneath

According to Yahoo News, this is the photo that "sums up the imbalance of wealth in Britain". I can only and sadly agree. How is that so many people are homeless in Britain today? I just don't get it. 

That was on my mind as we drove home. We came home to find a new guest had arrived called Pablo. He had booked one night for one person. What he had not told me is that he was bringing 6 other people and that they wanted to film the house for a University media project. 7 people! We were stunned and cross. In the end, we let them film outside as it was difficult to turn them away and thankfully they left 2 hours later.  Thankfully he didn't spend the night as that was never his intention although he hadn't told me. After they left I promptly updated my listings to include no filming or similar. We have only had bad experiences when people come and film for an advertisement, etc. 

When they left, I spent some quiet time reading. Eladio joined me and we changed our entertainment to more episodes of Season 1 of The Crown. All in all it had been a lovely day.

Oli and Miguel must have had a lovely day too. My dear daughter sent a photo of her and Elliot out and about yesterday. I donned it "mother and child". My daughter looks like a Madonna, in my mind of course and as to little Elliot, judge for yourselves. It is a beautiful picture I shall treasure; one of the best so far.

Mother and child, Olivia and Elliot out and about yesterday

When I look more closely at my daughter's face I can see it has changed since she gave birth. There is a look of maturity, a look of motherhood. My daughter has changed, of course she has. All women who give birth do.

Today we shall be seeing her and Elliot and Miguel as they are coming for lunch. Thus I must hurry to finish this post as I have a very busy morning ahead of me, putting up the Christmas decorations and making lunch.

Tomorrow we are taking little Elliot to Montrondo. You will hear all about his experience there in next week's post.

So, cheers for now, my friends and until next Sunday,

Masha

c