A poisoned birthday present: sciatica, the Oscar goes to Parasite, "One woman's story", Storm Ciara batters UK, Elliot goes shopping, Mobile World Congress cancelled by fear of Coronavirus, what is love? St. Valentine's dinner and other stories.

Sunday 16th February

With my Valentine of 40 years celebrating love on Friday 14th 

Good morning all. I trust your week has been a good one. In this blog post you can read all about mine. Like the joke about the "curate's egg", mine has been good in parts. 

Last Sunday was the day after my birthday for which I want to thank those of you who sent greetings. I was once again overwhelmed by messages from so many people. They made me feel loved and happy and as I said last week, I couldn't have asked for more. 

But last Sunday brought a poisoned belated birthday present in the form of an acute bout of sciatica. I have a back problem called spondylolisthesis, a degenerative condition which has been worsened by ongoing arthritis.  Basically this means that there has been slippage of a vertebra onto another. Nature often heals this and it did in my case and now both vertebrae have joined . But the condition leads to a deformity of the spine and compression of the nerve roots which in turn leads to bouts of sciatica: a trapped nerve. The space between some of the vertebrae has widened which also causes sciatica. My groin and lumbar area  had been giving me problems over the last few weeks with pain shooting down my right leg and numbing it. I had such a bad night  that I decided to go to A&E that morning. I had expected long waiting at the hospital (Montepríncipe) but everything was very fast. I saw a young Venezuelan specialist doctor in traumatology who spotted the condition immediately. Of note we spoke about his country and he didn't have swear words strong enough to show his feelings about the current regime and "dictator" Maduro. He sent me for an X-ray where again I hardly had to wait and within 10 minutes I was back in his surgery with the verdict. He confirmed my back condition saying it was "severe" and that I also had scoliosis which I already knew.  I didn't like that word "severe".  He prescribed a very strong pain killer- "tramadol", which is in fact an opioid as well as paracetamol. He also prescribed 10 sessions of physiotherapy to make my spine stronger. His advice was to swim but I'm no good at crawl so will ask the physiotherapist what sport I can do instead. I was devastated to hear that walking is not good for me, especially a continuous hour long walk. He said that instead I could do short 15 minute walks but for a week I had to take it easy and rest.

So rest I did as much as I could. We had to do some emergency food shopping on our way back from the hospital and chemist if we were going to have a decent lunch. I took my first Tramadol pill and soon I was feeling woosy but the pain began to remit thank goodness. Thus I was able to make lunch with the help of Zena. The girls were away so it was just my father, Eladio and I for Sunday lunch.

I rested afterwards feeling the woosy effects of the pain killer which felt weird but at least the pain had lessened. There would be no walk that afternoon of course but I did have my cup of tea or should I say decaf tea because that's what I always have. I was pleasantly surprised to find Oli, Miguel and Elliot were in her room. They had come back as Miguel's car was here and he would be leaving for Valencia for a two week work stint there with TVE. It was lovely to see our adorable, cheerful, smiley and chubby grandson. As soon as he sees us, he gurgles with delight and I suppose we do too. I love the fact that the little chap is happy to let anyone hold him. Here he is with his grandfather, wearing by the way, one of the lovely outfits Katty, our cousin, had sent him from New Zealand. He has been spoiled for presents from my side of the family and friends.

Grandfather and grandson together on Sunday

Elliot certainly took my mind off the pain although sadly I couldn't pick him up as he now weighs over 8 kilos and one thing I must not do with my condition is lift anything heavy. But that didn't mean I couldn't hold him on my lap and sing to him or play which is what I did for the short time he was with us on Sunday.

Suzy was back too and we spent some quality time together before all four of them left; Miguel for Valencia and Oli, Suzy and Elliot for their flat. They did some "free shopping" at home that night, taking a lot of what we had bought as emergency food shopping in the morning:-( We had dinner alone with the news and enjoyed a prawn, mango and avocado salad before going up to bed extremely early. It is Suzy, our nutrition expert who pointed out to us that we have dinner too late which is not good for our digestion. So instead of having dinner at 8.30 or so we are now having it at 7.30. We always go straight up to our room afterwards which has now got even earlier than before. We watched more news - the spread of coronavirus was on the agenda as was the terrible story of a young Thai soldier who went on a killing spree at a shopping centre in Bangkok last weekend killing 29 people. How dreadful!

The news was also about the Oscars which would take place later that night. We wouldn't be watching though as it was on in the early hours of the morning. I do remember watching the Oscars as a teenager in Bradford and finding it far too long. We wondered who the winners would be and wouldn't find out until Monday morning.

Meanwhile we watched an interview with the imprisoned Catalan independence leader, Oriol Junqueras, who is the de facto influence on how the new government was to be formed, with the help of abstention from his party, the ERC. I was a bit disappointed with the programme which seemed more like a promotion of his party and politics than anything else. Far more exciting was watching the last episode and a half of "Vivir sin permiso" on Netflix.

Monday came and with it the news of the winners of this years' Oscars. The overall winner was the South Korean film, "Parasite" which won best film, best foreign film, best director and best original screenplay.  Wow, we shall really have to go and see it. It is the first time a foreign film has ever won the best picture award, not just best foreign film. Spain had high hopes for Almodovar's "Pain and Glory" but it was not to be.  Bong Joon, the director, could not believe what was happening and last Sunday will no doubt be the best moment ever in his lifetime.

Bong Joon and his team celebrating Parasite's awards

The British film 1917 which both Eladio and I really want to watch, got three consolation awards; best photography, best sound and best visual effects. You can see the whole list of winners in this link.

My sciatica left me a bit out of action on Monday as it did on Tuesday. The pain had receded quite a lot but it was the tablets that made me feel woozy and void of my usual energy. I followed my doctor's advice and took things easily. That morning saw me tidying out my walk in wardrobe and organising all my scarves and jumpers. What a mess when I began and how good it looked when I finished.

If I was to take it easy, that could include reading quietly. I was dying to start on Maria Britnieva's book "One woman's story" which I had read when I was about 15, so many moons again. You will remember from last week's blog post that Mary Britnieva was "Aunty Mary" in my life and the person who welcomed my mother in London when she arrived at the end of WW2. The book is available on internet from an American library, thus I read it on my iPad quietly in the lounge. Aunty Mary was  a member of the Anglo Russian gentry at the outbreak of WW1.

Aunty Mary in England after escaping from revolutionary Russia

Her father was  British and her mother Russian.  In 1914 she joined an elite group of Red Cross nurses (Sisters of Mercy) who served at the front mostly in Poland. Her story of her part in WW1 is fascinating. She then married the head doctor, Alexander (Sasha) Britnev and tells the story of how their life began in turbulent revolutionary Russia.  Interestingly, his father was a doctor to the late Tsar Nicholas II. I had thought she had escaped like many Russians but she and her husband stayed on, living in hunger struck Petrograd (Soviet's new name for St. Petersburg). Her tales of trying to survive there are horrifying. In those years of shortage and terror from the communists, she gave birth to two children, Tsapis (Vladimir) and Mary who was to become an actress. She herself became so ill that her life was in danger and her husband urged her to go to England where her parents had sought refuge. Just getting out of Russia in those times was an unimaginable feat and she had to leave her husband behind. Later she would go back to see him after he was imprisoned by the soviets for being one of the "intelligentsia"   and accused of being a spy for the British. It makes for heavy reading and I couldn't put it down.  It's also a marvelous portrait of Russia during the beginning of the rule of the communists. If you are interested, this is the link. Frankly I couldn't put it down.

We had the pleasure of the girls' and Elliot's company for lunch as we would do for most of this week as Miguel is working in Valencia. Little Elliot who is actually huge for his age always brightens up the atmosphere at home, putting a smile on all our faces. I think he is going to be a very sociable little boy. While we eat, he now sits up in his pram on his own and at some stage begs to be picked up hahahaha.

Life was quiet at home but a storm was battling across northern Europe, Storm Ciara, which battered much of my home country, including my beloved Yorkshire. Flights were cancelled and delayed as were ferries and trains.  Whole towns like Hebden Bridge were completely flooded and havoc was a general description for much of the country with hurricane like winds as strong as 100 miles per hour! We had storm Gloria not so long ago in Spain and now it was the north of Europe's turn. If this isn't due to climate change then tell me what it is?

A car in Brentwood that sunk into a sort of pot hole caused by the storm this week. Imagine!

Storm Ciara had not made its way to Spain although some of its effects could be felt on the north coast, but not in the centre. On the contrary, in Madrid that day the sun shone and it was quite mild. It would have been perfect weather for our walk but that was not to be because of my sciatica. Damn it!

Dinner was another family affair and I got Lucy to make us a tasty Spanish tortilla - thank you Lucy. Later we watched the news in our room and then started on a new series; Season 3 of Broadchurch. I'm afraid, though, that owing to my strong painkillers, I fell asleep.

Tuesday came and it was not a good day as you will read. The news again this week has been dominated by the threat and spread of the coronavirus. Many big companies attending the Mobile World Congress at the end of this month in Barcelona, the biggest mobile fair in the world, announced they were pulling out. First it was LG then the domino effect started and at the time of writing more than 40 companies had cancelled their attendance. LG started the domino effect and soon after other big companies followed suit, such as Ericsson, Amazon, AT&T, Cisco, Facebook, Intel, NTT Docomo and Sony. There were rumours all week that with such a diminished presence from the big guns, the fair may well be cancelled or delayed. Gosh that was big news in many ways. It shows us just how seriously companies are taking the virus but it also means a huge loss in economic terms for the fair which has been held year after year in the Spanish city since it moved from Cannes. I know what I am talking about as I have attended it personally for many years from when it was first held in Barcelona in 2006 until 2017. Here is  a photo of myself outside the enormous premises of the "Fira" the last time I went. 

The last time I was at the MWC - February 2017

I can only imagine what a bold and difficult decision it must be for a company to pull out.  More than 100.000 delegates attend from 200 countries and about 2.400 companies have a stand, contributing big money to the city in terms of accommodation, transport, events, etc as well as providing lots of lucrative and temporary employment. According to El Pais, the estimated loss from cancellations could be up to 500 million euros! The cost of a stand is 1.200 euros per square metre, so just do the maths to see what companies like Facebook or Ericsson who had reserved 600 and 1200 square metres would have paid and won't get their money back. So, yeah a big decision to make and bad news for the city of Barcelona. It wasn't until the next day that the final nail on the coffin hit the world's biggest mobile event when the GSMA, the organisers, finally announced its cancellation. 

That day our cupboards were bare and it was time to do our weekly shopping at Mercadona. We came home with provisions from two huge trolleys, enough, I hoped to last us all week. This week we had to feed 6 people nearly every day, so no wonder we needed so much. 

The day was going well until after lunch when my sciatica got worse. I thought it had got better but it took a turn for the worse that afternoon and had me in pain until late that night. It was Murphy's law that after the sciatica pain receded it was replaced by a migraine which I couldn't shake off until the next morning and it was still lingering even after my first coffee.  I discovered later, after looking at the patient leaflet, that the tramadol painkiller I was taking for sciatica can provoke a headache. I never took it again.

Wednesday came and it was 12th February, what would have been my dear brother George's 65th birthday. He is forever in my heart but I always remember him specially on his birthday and the date of his leaving us, 15th May. What can I say that I haven't said before? I always feel guilty that my blue eyed, blonde, 6ft tall and talented brother got all the bad luck in life while I got all the good luck. Life is not fair. Life took him too early, at the age of 46 thanks to a very aggressive melanoma - skin cancer. We had lost my mother just over a year before he died (2001) and today only my father and I are left. Oh how different and more joyful our lives would be if they hadn't gone. Oh how we miss them. 

George and I with our father - Ruskington (Lincolnshire) 1961

I love the photo of us with our father when we were small, both of us trustingly holding his hand. We couldn't have had a better father or mother and I am privileged that my father is still with me. I don't ever want to lose him. No doubt, like me, he too would have been thinking about George on his birthday.

I was soon joined by our new guest, Fernando, who had arrived the day before but had been welcomed by Eladio as I was k.o. because of my sciatica when he came. He had breakfast with me and we chatted a bit. He was a bit nervous as that day he was starting a new job in the IT department of the Santander bank world HQ near where we live. I imagine he was excited too as it's probably a good job for an IT expert. He came for three days and still has to look for permanent accommodation for himself and his wife, so no doubt he will be staying again. 

He left to get ready for his first day with his new job and I carried on with my breakfast and reading the headlines on my iPad and phone. The big news in Spain was the approval from Parliament to go ahead with a new law allowing euthanasia. Wow that was pretty big news. However, the law if passed, won't come into effect until the summer. If the law passes, Spain would be only the seventh country to legalise euthanasia.  The others are Canada, Belgium, Holland, Colombia, Luxembourg, Switzerland, parts of Australia and some states in the USA.

Like me, most people are divided on the subject but I do think people should have a choice if their circumstances require such a decision, a decision to take their own lives. But I ask myself doesn't euthanasia already exist when people are "sedated" when they are at the last stage of cancer? I have seen it happen both with my father in law and with my dear friend Fátima. Isn't sedation a form of euthanasia? It is isn't it? But then again I imagine it is used to avoid the terrible pain and suffering that diseases like cancer can cause when the patient is at the end of his or her life. I imagine too that sedation comes from an overdose of morphine. Oh gosh, what a horrible thought. I just hope that none of us ever have to face that moment. God bless anyone who has to. Life can be most unfair and is a lottery. When the photo of George and I was taken in 1961 and we were children, we lived in bliss with no idea how life would pan out for us or that George would only live until he was 46. 

Wednesday came and I spent the day with the girls. In the morning I went with Oli and little Elliot to El Corté Inglés, Spain's big department store. We had a few errands to do and as we walked around the shop, Elliot sat up in his pram taking in everything. He seemed to love shopping and seeing all the colourful things around him. I told Oli that he takes after his father who, unusually for a man, loves shops. Here he is in the baby department where Oli was buying some accessory for his pram. 

Elliot who went shopping on Wednesday and enjoyed the outing

While we had a coffee at Starbucks, Elliot enjoyed his feed. I have to say he behaved perfectly during out shopping expedition in the morning and in the afternoon. I told you; he likes shops hahahahaha.

We were home on time for a family lunch and were out again in the afternoon. This time we accompanied Suzy on an errand to Madrid. Later we went to Gran Plaza 2 (huge shopping centre in Majadahonda). Suzy, my vegan daughter, wanted to get me natural herbal medicine for my sciatica but when she showed me two little bottles of ginger or whatever, I balked at the price of 50 euros, preferring ibuprofen from over the counter at the chemist hahahhaaha. 

Suzy at the health shop which she loves so much

It was as we were driving home that we got the live news that the GSMA association had confirmed cancelling the Mobile World Congress after a new flood of cancellations from the likes of Nokia, Vodafone, Orange, McAfee, etc. all because of their supposed fear of the spread of the coranavirus. But come on, there were only 2 cases in Spain, one in the Canaries and they guy is now over it and one in the Balearic Islands. It's not as if Spain's health system, one of the best in the world, couldn't cope with a few more. However, with the flood of cancellations from more than 40 companies including most of the big guns,  I suppose the organisers had no option. They were hoping for the Spanish government to declare a health emergency which they would need to claim insurance and a lot of insurance at that. Now they are hoping to claim it because of "force majeure". What force majeure I ask, surely not the virus? The companies who had pulled out voluntarily would not get their money back but those who haven't will have to be reimbursed and that is a lot of money. One of the main reasons for not cancelling earlier was then basically economic and not health related. It's always down to money isn't it? I felt divided at the decision. While the cancellation announcement came, other big fairs and exhibitions were taking place around the world, so why cancel the MWC? Is it because there are more Chinese delegates there I wondered but I doubt it, as a similar fair was taking place in Holland this week with 80.000 delegates.  I have a funny feeling there is more to this than meets the eye. Some have suggested this a reflection or outcome of the US China "trade war" or even a backlash from those affected by the so-called "Google tax". I also wonder, does this now mean that because of the threat of coronavirus, all big international fairs, exhibitions, shows, etc will be cancelled or is it just the MWC?  I feel sorry, not for the big companies who can afford the loss, but for all those small companies and suppliers who will now be left in legal limbo and have a lot to lose, not to mention the businesses in Barcelona. I doubt the hotels will worry though as they will still be paid for accommodation booked as that is a prerequisite when reserving a hotel room in Barcelona for the MWC, No, they will just have lots of empty rooms at the end of the month which no doubt they will offer for a cheaper rate. In any case it is a disaster for the Spanish economy and for the sector in general. 

We were glad to get home and all in need of a rest, especially little Elliot although he had behaved perfectly.  The evening panned out as normal and we were soon in bed watching TV. Our choice was the film about Van Gogh, the old one with Kirk Douglas, but I'm afraid I soon fell asleep. I fell asleep feeling thankful my dreadful headache was over.

I woke up nearly pain free on Thursday morning but felt a lack of energy all day and a bit down in the dumps. I think I was suffering from the lack of endorphins that I get from my walks. Oh, how I missed them. I went to the hairdresser that morning because I needed to get my roots seen to and my hair cut. For me going to the hairdresser is a pain and an ordeal whereas most women love it. Not me, I'm afraid. I think I was overcharged that day and came home in a bad mood which is unusual for me. I tried to snap out of it by making lunch with Oli and Elliot watching us from his pram and asking for attention every now and again. It's not easy to perform domestic duties when he is around hahahhaa.

Everyone did their own thing in the afternoon. Eladio did the most important job, that of pruning the trees and bushes in the garden. I was horrified to see him climbing up them on his steep ladder. I think he sometimes thinks he is 35 and not 75. Oli told us later that she learned while visiting Spain's national paraplegic hospital for a TV report, that 75% of accidents happen in the home. Thankfully he finished the task that day. Meanwhile, I tried to watch more of Season 3 of Broadchurch while keeping Elliot entertained - mission impossible hahahahhahaa. The girls went off to their house and by then it was time for a quiet dinner with my husband and no guests in sight.

I found it difficult to sleep that night so while Eladio was in slumberland, I switched the  "box" on again and resumed watching Broadchurch until quite late or least until after 2 in the morning. Then damn, I was awake at 5.30 after just 3 hours sleep but forced myself to stay in bed until 7 am.

Friday 14th was St. Valentine's Day and I had dinner out with Eladio to look forward to. As if I didn't know it was the day that celebrates love, Facebook reminded me by posting me a photo of Eladio and I, 3 years ago. I love the picture. Thanks FB.

Celebrating St. Valentine's with Eladio 3 years ago.

I often marvel how we are still in love after all these years. We met in the summer of 1980 - so 40 years ago!  But what is love? How would you describe it? Someone told me the other day that the three pillars of love in a relationship are: affection, respect and trust. Well our relationship is full of these three so maybe they are part of the reason we are still happily married. I would add another value which for me is important: admiration,  I always admire how cultured my husband is. Also vital to our relationship, at least, is independence and giving each other space.  I think if we lived in a tiny little flat I would feel a bit claustrophobic as I need my space (both physical and non physical) and independence, at times, as most people do. According to this expert on love and I think I can agree, the main ingredients apart from the three main pillars, affection, respect and trust, are: equality, loyalty, passion, care and help, connectivity, empathy, communication, admiration (I said that one), freedom, understanding, project for the future, self esteem and sincerity.  It has always been difficult to describe love. So, no, it's not just passion.  It is all these ingredients. Do you agree?

Defining love

One could also add patience and striving to keep the flame alight. Eladio is the patient one in our relationship. Another ingredient in ours at least, is the avoidance of argument and confrontation. Neither of us like confrontation. But we do strive to keep the flame alive or alight. One of the ways we do that is going away together or out to dinner on Fridays.  Being St. Valentines and the romantic I am, at least, we always go out to dinner to celebrate the day of love  on St. Valentines. Other women get flowers or couples give each other presents. We don't - although I would love the odd bunch of roses (haha).

Valentine's Day was the highlight of rather a dismal week, weather and health wise I have to say. It was cold, grey and cloudy in the morning but the sun came out in the afternoon. I disobeyed my doctor's orders and we went on our walk with Pippa.

I came back to ready the green room for a new and sudden guest. I had thought that maybe this weekend would be the only weekend in, I think 2 years, that we haven't had a guest so I was glad to get a surprise reservation in the morning. It came from a repeat guest. We get lots of them; this time a young student from the Canary Islands coming for her Master's degree classes at the nearby UEM.

I finished watching Broadchurch Season 3 which I can highly recommend if you like the two detectives, the main characters, and I do. Then it was time to get ready to go out. I wore a trusted black and white striped Zara dress I wear occasionally and we drove to the restaurant I had chosen for our Valentine's dinner date; Tinglado, perhaps the nearest to where we live and one we both like. I got my red rose there as all the tables were decorated with them as well as with rose petals. I must say they looked splendid. I later sneaked ours of the restaurant and it's now in a glass in our bathroom (naughty).

Our dinner table on Valentine's Day

We hardly had to look at the menu as both of us have our favourites. Eladio went for fish and chips (not enough batter for me and very few chips) and artichokes and foie for me. The dessert, meringue and raspberry and chocolate mousse, was divine. We had our photo taken by our waitress. I always think waiters and waitresses should have a course in photography as they notoriously take bad and often blurry photos. She had to do a few retakes until I was satisfied. I was angling for the feature photo for this week's post and even though it's not a great photo it will have to do. I far prefer the one Oli took of us three years ago. But she wasn't there to take it on Friday night.  We ate well and toasted to many more Valentine's dinners and wedding anniversaries. It's amazing to think Eladio has been "my Valentine" since we first met in the summer of 1980 - 40 years ago - and that our love is still going strong. Love always needs stoking, so celebrating Valentine's Day is always important. We loved our dinner date at Tinglado.

We came home to find a quiet house. Our guest from the Canaries was in her room  but I wouldn't see her until this morning. Oli and little Elliot came home around midnight but I was too sleepy to greet them and after watching a rather silly old film on TV, I soon fell asleep. I was worried the glass and a half of Rioja I had drunk would give me a headache and it did, but thankfully, not a big one.

Saturday came and I think it was the first or second morning of this week without fog. I can't wait for spring and the good weather to come. The sun shined, brightening my spirits. Elliot too cheered me up as he does every morning he is here. He is so friendly and cheerful, especially first thing in the morning. Saturday was quiet with not much to report. Oli had invited her Uni friend, Anita, for lunch and I was happy to see her again since she recovered from cancer - Hodgkin's disease - and looking much the better. She was the picture of health and happiness. I was glad to hear too that her career in marketing has taken off in the right direction and, as always, she was a pleasure to host. When we last saw Anita, her hair was only beginning to grow. Now it has grown stronger and is curly which she is quite pleased about. She was pleased too to see little Elliot again and as with everyone, he was happy to be held and cuddled by her. Here they are together. What a lovely sight.

Elliot and Anita yesterday

I had to rustle up a decent meal at short notice as I hadn't expected the girls or their friends. So out came my trusted "bitki" (Russian hamburgers or sort of:)) from the deep freeze. I served them with loads of veg which is the custom in our house. Lucy also made lentils so there was plenty of choice.  The girls later went for a long walk with the baby and we slept a short siesta, taking our walk later. Because of the good weather there were many more people than usual. On bad days, it is often just us. The girls left soon after and it was just Eladio and I for a frugal dinner together before TV time in bed on our great big flat screened new smart TV. Last night we watched a lovely talent show, "Prodigios" (prodigy child or children). I'm not a great fan of talent shows but I like this one as it mostly classical with three categories, singing, instruments and dancing (not too keen on the dancing). That had us up till very late and so again I switched off way past midnight and was awake this morning at 5 damned thirty in the morning.

Feeling wide awake I got up at 6.40 and had the kitchen to myself and the dogs of course. If I am up first it's my job to feed them and it's a bit like feeding time at the zoo as they are so anxious hahahahaha.

Today looks like it will be another lovely sunny day. Not so in the UK where a new storm is blowing; Storm Dennis. Nothing is planned so I am looking forward to a quiet Sunday.

I hope you all have a good Sunday. No doubt many of you will have more exciting plans. If you do, I hope you enjoy them. Today is my dear friend Jacky's birthday and who is the same age as me. Jacky is one of my most faithful readers, so I am happy to send her greetings again in this post. I hope you have a great day my friend. I wish the same for you all.

Now it's time to sign off and get on with the day. Cheers till next Sunday,
Masha.