A short update after a break from this blog. Difficult times in Santa Pola, Olivia and family came, Suzy is home and other stories.

 Santa Pola, Sunday, 18th August, 2024

Reunited with Suzy this week

Good morning all.

I have taken a break from this blog and last wrote on Sunday 4th August which turned out to be a very black day, although it started off with lots of joy and happiness when Olivia and our grandchildren came to visit. 

For once that day we had no guests so we had the house and pool all to ourselves and we made the most of it. Here is a snapshot of a happy moment which I entitled "where there is darkness, there is light". 

Happy moments in the pool with Olivia and the kids

Soon our lives were turned upside down and the nightmare began. At around 3 pm, Suzy, our adored oldest daughter, was admitted into a psychiatric ward in Alicante and was very soon diagnosed with Persistent Delusional Disorder. 

I debated whether to tell this story or not. Without telling it I could not continue with my blog as anything else in our lives pales in comparison. It's Suzy who gave me permission so I am writing this with her blessing and also because mental health should not be taboo or  anything to be ashamed of. It can be far worse than a physical medical issue. I hope you agree.

Someone said to me recently "you are only as happy as your least happiest child". She was right. So I suffered while I knew she suffered because people with delusional disorder have unshakable beliefs. Thus they believe that they are being persecuted or whatever the belief is and they suffer as one would in normal life. I suffered for her but also for us because she didn't want any contact with us. It was difficult to even find out where she had been admitted and as soon as we could, we made our way to Santa Pola to our apartment which felt so strange and empty without Suzy. 

I couldn't sleep, I could hardly eat and smoked myself silly. We were not on holiday, I can tell you and did not go on walks or out for meals. How could we? How could I enjoy life while my daughter was alone in a psychiatric ward? The only thing that calmed me down was continuously playing stupid patience (the card game) on my phone. I have to say this has been the most difficult period of my life. Thank God I had my husband.

 After far too long a time, we were finally contacted by her psychiatrist who wouldn't tell us much and only wanted us to sort out Suzy's health paperwork as she was registered in Madrid and had to be registered here. That kept us busy and gave us an excuse to go to the hospital where, finally, Suzy agreed to see her father, but not me. I can't tell you how much that hurt but I knew it was the illness talking. Eventually and after much insistence from her father, a few days later, she let me see her and she melted into my arms, all of her qualms about seeing me gone. That's the photo I have chosen for this week's feature photo. She was happy to see us and seemed like the old Suzy. I was so glad to hear too that she was actually happy in the ward and liked being there and was grateful for the help she was being given.  She showed us around and frankly the place was very nice. She accepted the medication and therapy both of which had begun to help. She had made friends and joined all the therapy sessions, loved the food and slept well. That was music to my ears. She even accepted her diagnosis and  began to question some of her bizarre beliefs. She is on the road to recovery if, pray to God, she doesn't falter and carries on with the medication and therapy.

And here is a photo of her with her father and dear Pippa on another visit. I love it.

Visiting Suzy and taking Pippa to see her

Only then could we begin to live.  We managed one trip down to the beach at 7.30 am  one morning to beat the crowds and the heat. That would be the only walk of the week and it did us a lot of good.

An early morning bathe and walk this week

Ah, and once we went down to the pool to try and relax and read.

Meanwhile, Olivia and family were on holiday at a campsite in Oroposa del Mar (Castellón) where they had booked a bungalow. So we loved receiving photos of our grandchildren, to take our minds off the big drama going on in our lives, of which they were not aware, bless them.

Elliot and Juliet on holiday in Oropesa this week, wearing their personalised Spanish football team t-shirts

Olivia, of course, was worried about her sister and us and I suggested they come here when their holiday finished. So they came on Thursday and brought much joy and chaos with them. They were a wonderful distraction. It also meant that Oli would get to see Suzy with whom she had also cut off ties  because of her illness. 

She had news for me about our upcoming trip to London in September where she will be presenting the awards for the 50 best hotels in the world at the Guildhall. Wow! The news was that we will be accommodated at The Rosewood Hotel in London, a wonderful 5 star place where just one night costs over 800 pounds!! Oli is wondering what the breakfast will be like. I am wondering what the bathroom amenities will be like, not to mention the comfort of the bed. We will be truly pampered there for 4 whole nights! That is really something to look forward to. 

They arrived on Thursday midday and we had lunch ready for them to sit down. Here is a photo to remember the moment.

Beautiful Oli and her family who came to be with us in our darkest moment on Thursday this week

We had asked Suzy's psychiatrist for a session where the three of us could talk to her. She was a bit reluctant, even though Suzy had given her permission. We felt so out of it. We are her parents but because she is not a minor, we get no say in anything at all. It's very frustrating.  She grudgingly agreed to one on Friday morning.  

We spent the afternoon with the kids by the pool  and on our way back bumped into our Polish/Swedish neighbours.  My  friend Magda has a son called Elliot, like our Elliot and we managed to get a photo of them together which was rather fun.

Juliet and Elliot with Elliot and Adrian, our Polish/Swedish neighbours. 

 Oli and I couldn't be bothered to cook so we went to have a pizza across the road at Soleluna, now under new management. The pizzas were divine and we had an interesting conversation with the waitress, Nadia who is from Belaruns. The children  behaved reasonably well and I actually enjoyed the meal. 

Friday came and we rang the hospital for our appointment only to be surprised to hear Suzy was being discharged that very day. I thought it was far too early but what could we do? Nothing. We did get to see the psychiatrist who told us Suzy would be continuing therapy with a local woman psychiatrist and would continue to take her medication. Later we went to pick her up and it was such a joyful moment. We sort of celebrated and went to an ice cream parlour together. The kids then wanted to go to the pool so we all went together. I was so happy to see my two daughters together having a heart to heart and making up for missed time.

Dinner was made by Suzy - I had sprained my wrist (damn it) and it was perfect. We were all together and we had fun. We really did. I felt so much better.

But 7 in the flat is a bit too much and yesterday Oli and co left at around midday, after another heart to heart with Suzy. 

They took a while to gather all their stuff and we kept the kids busy as you can see in this lovely photo Suzy took of us. 

A lovely moment with our grandchildren yesterday just before they left

And suddenly we were alone again but with Suzy who seems to be on the right path. All I want is for her to get better. We have had a heart to heart too which has done us both a lot of good.

Still reeling from the events this week, I felt exhausted both mentally and physically. We didn't leave the apartment except to take Pippa out to do her business, bless her. She is therapy for Suzy and for me. On that topic, let me tell you, she is therapy for all of us and that my grandchildren adore her too. This weekend they took it in turns to take her lead and wanted her to sit on their laps. Just look at this beautiful photo of Elliot and Pippa.

Elliot with Pippa 

So now you understand why I couldn't write or publish my blog last Sunday. Now I can, with Suzy's permission. 

We shall be staying until 22nd August and thus will be here for our 41st wedding anniversary this week coming. I had to cancel the hotel I had booked  in Galicia. Instead, we shall go out to dinner to my favourite restaurant in the area, the Michelin Star La Finca. That will be something else to look forward to. 

Slowly I am regaining my life and adjusting to our circumstances and slowly the family is being reunited. With our support and love I hope and pray Suzy gets better. And, however long it takes, we will always be there for her. 

All the best for now,

Masha