Saturday, October 05, 2019

Sunday with little Elliot, lunch with Belén and Mónica, 20 years since my mother died, grandfather and grandson and other stories.

Sunday 6th October, 2019

Eladio the happy grandfather with his grandson Elliot. I love seeing the two together. Eladio has such a calming influence on him. 
Dear all.

Another week has gone past and my grandson is growing slowly. He is now nearly three weeks old and still, of course, the centre of our universe. Who would have known what a doting grandmother I would turn out to be? Me, who is a person not normally attracted to babies yet besotted with my grandson. Funny eh?  Well, I suppose it is instinct and  nature and above all an all encompassing feeling of love that makes me so happy. No doubt, I am boring you with my baby tales. Sorry if that is so. Before Elliot's birth, I too would have been bored. However, if you are a grandparent no doubt you will understand me.

So I was delighted Oli, Miguel and little Elliot (that is what we call him) were coming for lunch on Sunday. I thought I had plenty of time to prepare my famed oxtail stew of the Spanish recipe book Simone Ortega but unfortunately after 2.5 h cooking the meat was hard. People were very polite but there was not getting away from it, the oxtail was tough. Everything else was perfect and I refer more to the fact that it was a perfect family gathering. Only Suzy was not there as she was helping a friend move out of a flat after her boyfriend had broken off with her. Suzy was not just there for practical help but emotional help too, bless her. But her absence was made up by the presence of Oli's best Uni friend, "Anita", her friend who has just got over Hodgkin's disease and  who is looking so good. 

Anita was to see little Elliot for the first time and fell in love with him as we all did. I got her on camera while Eladio was holding him. Eladio has a wonderful calming presence around his grandson and if he is crying Eladio always calms him down. He's much better at that than me. I use singing to calm him down; baby songs such as "ba ba black sheep, twinkle twinkle little star" but Eladio needs no tricks. 
Eladio, "Anita" and Oli last Sunday
Sunday was the only time I have seen him unsettled during the day. Until then he was largely asleep during the day and playing up at night. After lunch we moved to the pool area where my new Airbnb guest, Noel from Malaga, was enjoying the sun and swimming. Our other guests, Andy, our more or less permanent lodger, was out all day in Madrid with his daughter, Lorna, who had come to visit him for 4 days. Eladio went off for a siesta and we urged Miguel to do the same as Elliot's father definitely needed to catch up on some slumber because of the sleepless nights. Thus the three girls (including me hahaha) stayed up by the pool with little Elliot. All Elliot wanted that day was to be at his mother's breast permanently and not always necessarily breast feeding, just lying in her arms, skin on skin, and feeling content. Thankfully Oli has come across something that I could have done with in my day, a sort of nipple shield which helps them feeling sore from so much breastfeeding. What a wonderful invention. He seems to like it too.
Beautiful Oli and beautiful Elliot
The day was wonderful all round except that in the afternoon I was given the bad news that my darling little cousin, Ruby, aged 10 who lives in New Zealand, on the other side of the world, had been taken into hospital with problems with her liver. It had me worried for the rest of the day and messaging with her mother, Katty who I adore and who I know was worried sick. I only wished I could be with her or with her mother Zuka, my cousin who lives in France and who was very worried.  Zuka had rung me to ask for our prayers and that is what she got. I could only hope and pray that little Ruby's condition would be something minor and easy to deal with. Little Ruby would be on my mind all the time until that magical moment when her mother, Katty, told me the final diagnosis was Hepatitis A which her body had begun to fight. By Wednesday morning she was a lot better and would be sent home. I'm so happy that our prayers were answered. 

Tired of being seated all afternoon breastfeeding little Elliot for such a long period of time, Oli and Miguel went out to take him on a walk before coming home for dinner.

I prepared a simple meal of scrambled eggs and asparagus and we sat down to dinner at about 8.30 and ate outside. The weather was just wonderful as it was last week and all of this week. Suzy arrived just before they left so she got to see her sister and nephew. Then it was time for bed and a bit of TV to help me fall asleep. Hopefully if Elliot had been awake all day and restless that would mean he would sleep well during the night allowing his parents to get some slumber too. 

I was up on Monday at 6.30 and eager for news of Ruby. She had been sent home while her blood tests were being analysed and before a biopsy would be performed later in the week but wasn't in the end.  It was much better for her to be at home and treated as an outpatient. 

On Monday I had a lunch appointment with Belén and Mónica, both lawyers who work for    my previous employer. I was taking them out to lunch to thank them for the help they gave me with the contract for publishing my book in England. Mónica, herself is an author and her father is a cinema producer so she is very familiar with publishing contracts. I was very grateful for their help. I took them to one of my favourite places in the very swanky area of La Moraleja, Aspen, a restaurant I have always been told is a favourite with the emeritus King of Spain. I've never seen him there but still love the place. It was a glorious day again and we were given a table outside. I had brought along a copy of my father's book for both of them which I hope they will enjoy. It was a great girly type lunch and good to catch up. Funnily enough we didn't talk a lot of "shop" but rather about the book and bits about their lives. I was very close to Belén when I worked at Yoigo as she was my assigned lawyer. As usual the food at Aspen was great and I went for their famed hamburger as did Belén. Here we are seated at the table just before we left. I do wish waiters were trained how to take photos. They never take good ones do they? In any case it's nice to have a photo to remember Monday's most pleasant lunch.
Lunch with Belen (left, long hair) and Mónica (right)
It was nice to dress up to go out, put some makeup on and not have to deal with making lunch at home. I was back by after 5 - yes lunches in Spain tend to start and end very late - Andy and his daughter Lorna were by the pool. It was 30ºc or more and I thought I'd take a leaf out of their book and go in the pool myself as it may have been the last opportunity. I don't know if I will go in again although the forecast is very good at the moment.

Here I am in the pool on the last day of September. That's one of the perks of living in Spain and having your own pool. Public pools, whatever the weather, always open on 15th June and close on 15th September. We, on the other hand can choose when to close and open ours depending on the weather.
Me in the pool on Monday afternoon
Later after having dried off, I sat by the pool reading until dinner time. Andy left to take Lorna to the airport and there was no sign of our other guest, Noel. Eladio, Suzy and I prepared a very simple dinner of tuna fish salad. Meanwhile back at Oli and Miguel's apartment, little Elliot was at her breast again when I asked for a photo. I commented it was his favourite place. It is indeed but must be a bit exhausting for poor Oli. Here they are together.
Oli and Elliot, Elliot and Oli on Monday
If I don't see my grandson, I need to have a photo of him every day.

After dinner, Suzy and I resumed to Oli's terrace for a long mother and daughter chat until quite late. Shortly afterwards Katty and Ruby video called us. It was great to see them and good to see Ruby was getting better. Here is the little darling, a girl I adore for all her values and sweetness. I shall never forget her urging me on to go kayaking with the family. I was rather reluctant and she told me to stop being negative. I took her advice.
Ruby on the mend
There was not much on the "telly" that night not even on Netflix or Amazon Prime. It was early to sleep that night and on Tuesday morning I woke up at 6.45 which is not bad.

Tuesday was 1st October, a date always etched in my mind as my mother died on 1st October. This week would be the 20th year since we lost her. Who could forget her if they knew her? No one. She was unique and I miss her every day. When Elliot was born one of my first thoughts was oh how I would have loved her to meet him. I have the same thoughts on all significant days and events and miss her so. But it is my father who misses her most, his life partner. I don't know how he was able to go on after her death 20 years ago.
My vivacious and unique mother who died 20 years ago on 1st October 1989 and who we miss every day
She would be in my thoughts all day. Every year on 1st October I mention her in this blog. It's difficult to describe what an amazing person she was or rather what an amazing personality she had. She oozed charisma and charm and people, young, old, rich and poor, all loved her.  We miss her every day. Missing her is especially acute at important times in our family. So, as I said,  when Elliot was born I just wished she could be here to see him. How she would have loved him, just as she adored her grandchildren. Suzy and Oli were just 15 and 14 when she died and have missed her ever since. Even though I say this myself, I can quite objectively tell you she was a very unique woman. I like to think she is looking down at us during bad and good moments and if I have to pray I always ask her for help. No doubt she was in my father's mind on 1st October too. How he must miss her. For he was the hardest hit when he lost her 20 years ago and faced old age on his own. If that happened to me with Eladio, I don't think I could pick up and go on like he did.

So Tuesday was not a good day all round. Other things happened which I cannot write about here as sometimes I have to censor myself if what has happened has occurred to other people.  It would be a long day too as my new Airbnb guests, two German ladies in their early 60's  arrived very late; at nearly 1 in the morning. After that I could not fall  asleep and slept badly. Later I would have time to meet them and size them up and they are a great pair, full of fun and energy and a youthful spirit. They hardly seem German at all if you compare them to the German stereotype.  They are from Dortmund by the way.

On Wednesday I was up at 6.30 after less than 5 hours sleep. I would try to make up for it by taking a siesta in the afternoon. I was determined that Wednesday would be a good day and it was. There was no walk that day. Instead Suzy and I went retail therapy shopping, something I hadn't done for a long time. First we hosted our German guests, Brigitta and Petra, showing them the local supermarket, a nice restaurant for lunch or dinner (Tinglado) and somewhere to enjoy a coffee (Alverán). Suzy and I headed off to Centro Oeste in Majadahonda, that posh little town outside Madrid. Later Brigitta and Petra told us they too had gone shopping. Suzy wanted to buy t-shirts for her Indonesian beau, Daus. I hadn't intended to buy anything but happened upon some great white jeans and a black t-shirt at H+M. Early that morning I had organised all my t-shirts which were in a huge mess in my walk-in-closet after the summer and I realised I didn't have  a short sleeved black one. I only paid 10 euros for the two garments which were discounted thanks to some bonus on my H+M app. I guiltily thought of the slave labour involved in the clothes I was taking home that really, if I think about it, I did not need. On the other hand, they make me happy. Oh dear.

Oli and Miguel were at the family doctor for Elliot's weekly check up and we encouraged them to come to lunch which, to our delight, they did. I just love it when we are all together. My father does too. After lunch and after Elliot had fed, Suzy took over and held him in her arms for 2 hours while he slept, allowing his parents to catch up on their own sleep.
Suzy and little Elliot
In fact we all slept from about 3.30 to 5.30. I also caught up on lost sleep. Later we gathered around the swimming pool terrace just generally talking and enjoying being together. I took a photo which you can see below. Sorry that I caught Eladio with his eyes closed:-(
The family together on Wednesday
Eladio spoke about the demonstrations in Barcelona on the 2nd anniversary of the illegal referendum for self rule. I, meanwhile, thought about what was happening with Brexit. It was on Wednesday that some of the details of Boris Johnson's new agreement to quit were revealed and they mainly concerned Ireland. I was rather astonished to read that his proposal was for Northern Ireland (and of course the UK) to remain in the customs territory  for 4 years or more under EU legislation but to leave the Customs Union which of course means that Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland would end up being two different territories. In effect he was proposing two borders!  I don't  think there ever can be a real solution to make the whole island of Ireland happy when it comes to leaving the EU.    Meanwhile the date of 31st October is looming. Will Boris ask for an extension? He says not. Will the UK really crash out of the EU without a deal. It's possible and it's a frightening idea.

I did not express my thoughts on this to my family who are far less interested in Brexit than I am, for obvious reasons. Both girls have a British and Spanish passport so it hardly affects them but it does affect both my father and myself.

I put these thoughts aside and, feeling hungry, like Elliot, suggested we had dinner. It was a little cool outside, especially for my grandson, so we had our meal in the dining room. And what a meal it was, thanks to Lucy making us a great tortilla. Good for her.

It was only when I was in bed at nearly 10 pm, that my latest guest, Jeff, arrived from Sweden. I had wondered at his perfect Spanish but non Spanish or Swedish name and what his origin was. He revealed he was of Colombian parentage but had been brought up in Stockholm. He looked a nice guy and would be here for 3 nights although we hardly saw him.  It has been full house this week and up to 6 cars have been parked on the property!

We started watching a series on Carlos V of Spain and Carlos 1 of Germany, who I knew as The Holy Roman Emperor from my history lessons with Miss Scorer at St. Joseph's College. That era is not my favourite period of history - I prefer more modern times - but it's quite interesting to watch. Now I know or remember who Cardinal Cisneros was and a bit more about the era. Eladio was not so keen dubbing the series too theatrical. So we never watched more than one episode.

Thursday came and it was the quietest day of the week with not much to report.   We didn't see Elliot (:-)), our guests were out all day and Suzy went out too, to her lessons and to see a friend. Thus Eladio and I had to the house to ourselves together with the dogs until our guests returned in the evening.

TV entertainment that night was a  good choice. We watched a film on Prime Video called "Ma Ma" with Penelope Cruz and Luis Tosar. It's sad - the mother is diagnosed with breast cancer - but at the same time terribly uplifting. Penelope Cruz is definitely my favourite Spanish actress. I am a fan of Luis Tosar too or rather I usually like the films he stars in.
A film we loved this week

My favourite Spanish actor is not Antonio Banderas who I do love actually, but someone called José Coronado. So who are my global non Spanish favourite actors and actresses? From my past they are Ingrid Bergman, the same as my father, and Clarke Gable (oh how I love him in Gone with the wind). Julie Andrews comes a close second. As to actors and actresses today, that's more difficult. If pushed I might say Robert de Niro and Meryl Streep or Julia Roberts. I'm afraid I'm not very acquainted with the current younger top actors. Who are yours?

Friday came and it was another beautiful day. Oh what a lovely Indian summer we are having. It's going to continue for a while now so, making the best of the good weather, we shall be off to our apartment near the beach in Santa Pola today. We haven't been for a while and we are craving for walks on the beach, Suzy and Pippa included, who are coming with us.

Friday was a quiet day, the highlight being the evening. At about 6 pm, the three of us set off for Oli's apartment or should I say Oli, Miguel and little Elliot's apartment? Maybe I should. We love going there especially since our grandson has been born. Oli and Miguel are so concentrated in "Elliot land" it's easy for us to go than for them to come. It was to be a lovely evening. As we arrived we found Elliot at Oli's breast which is where he likes to be all the time. It's not so much breast feeding on demand but demanding to be at her breast all the time so that in case he wakes up the food source is near  hahahah. For a while he was satiated, so I had the privilege of holding him for at least 1.5h while Oli got on with housework, something she doesn't have much time to do. My dear friend Adele had sent a present this week and when they exchanged whatsapp messages, Oli to thank her for the present (a lovely comforter), my friend who has 4 strapping boys, advised her to enjoy her time and to "f*** the housework" which made us laugh out loud. Soon it was time for Suzy to take over from me. She adores holding her little nephew who she calls "my little prince" and I took some photos. She just can't stop kissing him and he seems to love it. It looks like he will be quite a sociable little boy.
Suzy kissing and kissing Elliot "her prince"
The men went out to do food shopping for our dinner and we girls stayed behind with Elliot. He needed his nappy changing as usual but this time he also needed a bath. He doesn't like either but they have to be done. We helped with loving hands while he cried enthusiastically and I was proud to see just how capable my younger daughter is at handling a tiny new born  baby. Later as she sat and breastfed, she commented that "maternity is overrated" in a comic aside. The period after giving birth is very challenging. We who have been parents know that and there is nothing glamorous about any of it but it is also a wonderful time of life, caring for a defenseless little baby who is your own flesh and blood and all instincts to protect him come to the forefront and all you want to do is care for him. He becomes your centre of attention and your life completely changes, in that you are no longer number one ; he is and it remains pretty much so in parents' lives forever after.

The men were back soon with a load of shopping and Miguel, the house chef, set about making a delicious dinner of baked salmon, puré and onions all cooked in the oven to perfection. Elliot attuned to his mother's needs, always demands his food just as she is about to have hers (haha) so Oli ends up eating with one hand while Elliot is at her breast, mostly for the sake of comfort. She later had to bring up his wind. There seems to be a new technique these days; sitting the baby with his head held front ways while being patted on his back. He looks so funny but doesn't seem to mind.
Elliot at dinner or rather after his dinner on Friday, having his wind brought up with this new technique. 
Later to give Oli some leave way, Eladio gently picked up his grandson and held him and comforted him just with his calm presence. It's amazing. As soon as he is in his grandfather's arms, he is at peace. I love to see them together. I told the girls that their Eladio had been a marvelous father when they were small and he was and is. So it is the photo I took of grandfather and grandson together that I have chosen as this week's feature photo.  I must love my husband a lot as I just love to see him happy.

It was getting late and we had to call it a day. Friday ended with us going to bed late and commenting on just what a wonderful evening we had had.

Saturday came. Suzy was out all day with her friend Elenita at an all day yoga festival - good for her. Called Wanderlust , it took place at the "Hipódromo" (horse racing track) a beautiful area in Madrid. Later we got a photo of her with her friends happily practicing yoga. We wouldn't see her until this morning.
Suzy and her friends at Wanderlust yesterday
We didn't see little Elliot either and won't until we return from Santa Pola. I'll miss him. Thanks, though to our modern technology I can see him on video when Oli calls me and through the photos she sends. Last night she rang me and I was able to see the little mite breast feeding contentedly. I so love him. He is now 20 days old and from yesterday started latching onto his dummy which I hope will give his parents a breather on and off. Here are the three of them together, Elliot with his minute dummy, bless him.
The new and happy family
It was a beautiful day again and the temperature rose to 28ºc. Andy, our Scottish lodger, dared the cold of the swimming pool water and went in that day. I did not although I was tempted. For us it was a quiet day. We did the shopping, came home to make lunch, Eladio mowed the lawn and just as I was falling asleep for a siesta I was interrupted by the arrival or our latest guest. Ivan Prado Sejas, a writer and psychologist who is from Bolivia, arrived at around 3.30 pm. He has come to install his 23 year old daughter who will be doing a masters' degree in physiotherapy at the UEM University nearby. I settled him in and then went to sleep my siesta. Later that afternoon while Eladio continued mowing the lawn and I was reading by the pool, Ivan joined me and we had an interesting conversation. It's not often you get to talk to a Bolivian is it? Our house is full of people of all sorts of nationalities. Currently we have a Scot, 2 Germans and a Bolivian. Amazing. I know my mother would approve.

 I don't know much about Bolivia - only that it is poor and its leader is the famous Evo Morales of peasant extraction so I started the conversation by asking Ivan about Morales' government. We talked about the Amazon rain forest - after the big fires recently. He told me he was a writer and said "like you". Well, not exactly I told him as I have only written one book and he has written many but it made me feel good. Ivan, on the other hand has written many, mostly science fiction, not my genre. He asked me what there was to see in Madrid and surroundings and I explained. I also mentioned Madrid has mountains but then I thought how stupid as our mountains  at 2000 m high must seem like hills to him. Bolivia is of course in the Andes and the highest mountains there are over 6000 metres high. He himself comes from a village that stands at 2.500 metres and he told me some people live in places that are 4.500 metres high! Wow, that showed my ignorance of his country. We  also talked about Bolivia's perception of Spain which he said at times was negative because of the Spanish conquerors something completely understandable.  He commented on the EU and Europe disintegrating rather than uniting. Well, he has a point.  He also asked about the upcoming financial crisis. So that's the news they have of Europe on the other side of the world. Very recently news has been coming in about yet another recession. Another one I thought when we have hardly got over the other one? Oh dear. Eladio joined us for a while before Ivan, still jet lagged, went up to bed.

We had a quiet dinner on our own and ate outside which is a luxury in October. Suzy slept at Elenita's and wont' be back until about 9 am this morning. We aim to leave for Santa Pola just after that. Let's see how long it takes to get ready to leave.

So my friends, I must leave you now to get on with preparations to leave for a week or so. I'm not sure whether next week's post will be posted from home or Santa Pola but no doubt in next week's post you will hear all about our time there. I can't wait for a walk on the beach.  It's been a long time since we were last there.

That's it then for now,
Cheers till next week/Masha




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