A new member of the family. All about Elliot. Nearly everything else pales in comparison.

Sunday 22nd September 2019

Welcoming Elliot into the family

Hello everyone.

This blog post is perhaps the most important I have ever written. In this post I am welcoming a new member into our family and that doesn't happen every day. Little Elliot finally arrived and made his appearance just after midnight on Monday night at 12.41. Thus his birthday will be on 17th September.

Last Sunday we were still waiting for him and it was a very very quiet day for us at home. It rained all morning, robbing us of our walk. There were huge floods south of the city but thankfully none in our area. The country was still reeling from the dreadful floods on the south east coast.

For Spanish sport is was a glorious day, a day for celebrating. If in my previous post I had written about Nadal's 4th win at the US Open, this week I have another sporting feat to report on. Spain's basketball team won the gold medal  against Argentina at the World Cup played in China. It was their second world cup and this team, a sort of modern dream team, has a host of other medals tucked up its sleeve. I didn't watch the match, basketball not being my sort of sport but I was hugely pleased for Spain. Well done champions.

Sunday was Oli and Miguel's last day of parent freedom before Elliot arrived. They spent a lot of the day out walking. Oli was told walking could help to start labour but it didn't. Even so, they enjoyed themselves and even found blackberries to pick at a nearby field. Later Miguel made jam which they had for breakfast on Monday morning. It would be Oli's last meal until she gave birth so many hours later. She complained throughout of hunger pangs.

Miguel and Oli out picking blackberries last Sunday

Monday was Oli's big day. That morning at 8 am she was admitted into hospital to give birth. She was 10 days overdue and would have to have the birth induced. She gave birth at the public hospital in Majadahonda, Puerta de Hierro. She could have done so at a private hospital as she has the insurance for it but opted for the former. I was a bit taken aback that we couldn't visit her. For me that was unheard of. At this hospital they only let one person accompany her and it has to be the same person always. Thus we could only communicate by mobile phone. It would also mean we wouldn't be there for when he was born and not  until they were moved from their private delivery room to a normal hospital room the next day at 6 pm.

It was a difficult day for Oli and it was a difficult day for me in a different sense. I wanted to be with her and couldn't. Thankfully Miguel kept us updated all day long. At about 11.30 she was given oxycodone and that's when the contractions began and they hurt. She said she couldn't stand them poor thing. Thankfully though she was given an epidural and even though it may have slowed down labour  it was less painful. All I could do that day was think of her. I couldn't watch the TV, couldn't read, couldn't do anything. Well, actually I could do something and that was to take them food for after the birth as Oli was starving and at that time the only thing on offer at the hospital would be sandwiches from a machine. So Suzy and I prepared a picnic of Ibérico ham  which she longed for as during pregnancy no uncooked meat is allowed, together with a salad, some bread and fruit. We also stopped to buy her sushi which she was not allowed either because of the uncooked fish. We gave it all to Miguel at around 10 pm and he told us Oli still had a couple of hours to go until delivery. He told us that Oli was ready but that Elliot wasn't. 

We came home. I tried to watch something on Netflix on our newly installed smart TV but couldn't concentrate. And then, by magic, at 12.49 Miguel sent us a photo of Oli all ready for delivery. We couldn't believe it. Finally Elliot was going to arrive. The next we knew, he was there and we got our first picture. He arrived at 12.41 after a slight complication - his head was just too big to come through so the gynecologist had to resort to using some sort of spatulas to widen the exit point - and he was placed on Olivia immediately. Apparently protocol these days is to place the baby immediately on the mother's skin so there is skin contact. Only later - about 2 hours after birth - would he be washed, weighed, measured, etc.

This is his first photo which we got from Miguel 8 minutes after Elliot was born. 

Elliot with his mother just after his birth

Oli was exhausted but elated as was Miguel. There is no moment in life that can be more emotional and significant than the moment your baby is born. Oh how I wished to be there to see him. But I had to bite my nails and suffice myself with the photos. I went to wake Suzy up to tell her and I cried with joy. If I have to admit it that morning I cried with fear, worrying about the birth being induced. I had read some terrible things on google which I shouldn't have done. I prayed throughout the day for Oli and Elliot. My father did too as did my dear friend Jacky. I prayed to my mother too who I somehow felt looking down on us. Our prayers were answered. We had a bonny big boy of perfect health. Later I heard he weighed just under 4kilos and measured 53cm which is above the average. He is a very long baby with long fingers and legs. No doubt he will be tall.

Elliot being weighed 2 hours after birth

Tuesday came and it was a waiting day until Miguel, Oli and Elliot were assigned a room in the maternity ward. That meant we wouldn't see him until 6 pm. I was so frustrated. But what could I do? Not much. Oli told me that Elliot had been quite quiet and had hardly cried during the night. Both of them needed their precious sleep after the work of labour. Poor Oli was exhausted but very very happy.

All I remember about Tuesday is our visit to see Elliot and the moment we would first set our eyes on him.  I first saw him as I entered the room. He was in Miguel's arms on the sofa. But duty bound, I kissed and congratulated my daughter first. Then I gently reached out for him and picked him up myself with great care trying to remember how I did it with my own girls when they were babies. I hadn't lost my touch. I was just a little cautious. I then sat down and held him against me talking to him in English which is my mission and he was calm and did not protest. He seems to like being held a lot and by any of us. Here is my first photo with him, one I shall treasure for a long time. I had to stand up though so that his face could be captured on camera.

My first photo with Elliot

So what did I feel you might ask? Immediate intense love and emotion. It was love at first sight and I will love him always. It's a different sort of love to that with your own babies as there is not that heavy feeling of responsibility. It's a wonderful feeling.

Then it was Eladio's turn. He was a bit hesitant but I urged him on and soon he was in his grandfather's arms. Eladio didn't tell me what he thought but you can see from his eyes. He will adore this little boy always as we all will.

Eladio holiding Elliot and me holding Eladio - such bliss and such emotion it is difficult to describe

From then on it was like a photo shoot. We couldn't get enough of the darling baby who behaved perfectly throughout and when he did cry it was only for a moment. Here you can see just how big he was the day after his birth.

Elliot as he came into the world this week

It was funny to see how alert he was as if he was taking everything in. He had problems adjusting to breast feeding but by Tuesday night had learned the trick and from then on it was nearly plain sailing. He likes to be fed quite often and Olivia happily obliges.

Soon Miguel's parents arrived; Merche and Paco. We hardly know them. I had only met them once briefly. They were as happy as us but perhaps for us it was a bit more special as Elliot is our first grandchild and they already have two. Here they are with their son and new grandson.

Miguel with Elliot and his parents

Miguel doesn't get into many of the photos as he is the official photographer hahaha. Thus I took one of him specially for the occasion. Here they are, father and son. If you ask me, I think little Elliot bears a bit more of a resemblance to him than to his mother but of course it is early days. Eladio, laughingly said that the baby's ears take after his mother's hahah and that's where the resemblance ends. Funnily enough Oli thinks he resembles our side of the family - especially his little turned up nose which is so sweet.

Father and son the day after he was born

I also took the first photos of Oli, Miguel and Elliot together as no one had been able to do so before. Here they are, the happy couple and their much awaited for darling baby.

Oli. Miguel and Elliot a family now

The only person missing was Suzy who came a bit later after a class of hers. She was overjoyed, as we were to see her sister and her new nephew. She is pleased as punch to be his Auntie Suzy. She held him too and here is a lovely photo of them together.

Elliot with his Aunty Suzy

At some stage Elliot needed his nappy changing. Miguel wasn't in the room and Oli couldn't get up so I obliged. I don't think I have changed a nappy since my girls were babies but one doesn't forget. It was a pleasure to do so and no doubt I shall be doing it quite often in the future.

Oli and Miguel have everything they need for the baby so it was difficult to think of what present or presents to give them. In the end I chose a Peter Rabbit china dinner set - mug, bowl and plate, a baby's edition of the Tale of Peter Rabbit and a soft toy, Peter Rabbit and his mother. I put it all in a wicker basket and wrapped it up to take to the hospital. The girls were brought up on The Tales of Peter Rabbit and have their own china sets, so I thought Elliot should too. 

Elliot's arrival present - a Peter Rabbit set

Then between the three of us we also got her a baby and gourmet hamper from a firm called Naranjas de la China which had all sorts of enticing things including two bottles of Rioja wine. Wine was important as I knew Oli was looking forward to a bit of alcohol after the ban during pregnancy.  I was  a bit cross though to see they had forgotten to include the fruit. I rang them the next day to complain and thankfully they sent another hamper this time with the fruit only.

The hamper (without the fruit:-() from Naranjas de la China for Miguel, Oli and Elliot

Before we left at around 8.15 p.m.  we had to have a photo taken of us with little Elliot. That is the one I have chosen to illustrate this most important post, a photo of the 4 of us with the new member of our family. We left as we didn't want to exhaust poor Oli and I was sure they needed their space as they begin their life as a new family.

We were so elated when we left, I proposed we go out to dinner to celebrate. That is just what we did and ended up having a lovely meal at El Tinglado near our house.

We were home quite early at around 10.30. Finally my nerves, anxiety and frustration had left me and I was feeling happy and satisfied all round. Thus I was able to concentrate on what we were watching on Netflix and woke up the next day at just after 6.

I was rewarded with a video in the morning of little Elliot breastfeeding. He hadn't got the hang of it  when we visited but that night he learned and since then demands feeding sometimes every two hours. 

At about 8 am, my Honduran guests left and told me they were very happy with their stay. I was happy with theirs too. Unbelievably, for this time of year, we would have no new guests until Saturday, apart from Andy our semi permanent lodger of course.

There would be no walk that morning as the technician from Yoigo, my old company, was coming to change our internet provider from Movistar. Funnily enough the coverage or signal would still be from Movistar (Telefónica) as Yoigo or Másmovil doesn't have much fibre coverage itself but rents it from the main providers and then leases it to its customers. I only changed providers because it will be quite a lot cheaper than before. However the home service was not very good and trying to get someone on the phone at Yoigo customer care was a nightmare. How things have changed since I left. Today you can only speak to a machine. I needed to talk to someone as the technician was not able to fulfill my wishes of calling the wifi networks with the same names as before and with the same password. Thankfully I still have some friends at Yoigo and if it hadn't been for one of them, I would have been left high and dry and without the wifi extender working upstairs. So thank you my friend, Pepe, once again for your help. The whole process took over 3 hours so there was no walk that morning.

I showed my father all of Elliot's photos and we even had a video call with Oli so that he could see his great grandson. Hopefully he will see him for real today.  We couldn't wait to go and see him again that day and at 5.45, off we went to the hospital.  

When we arrived Miguel's brother, his wife and their two lovely boys, Ruben aged 10 and little Hugo aged 8 were there too and soon his parents arrived.  They are lovely boys by the way. We were far too many in the room and I think it was a bit too much for Oli. I now understand why the hospital rules are rather strict for visiting mothers and babies who have just been born. All the attention is on the baby and not much on the mother. However, she seems perfectly calm and contented with her darling baby. She was breastfeeding when we got there and it was such a lovely scene. Little or not so little Elliot loves his feed and can be at her breast for more than an hour each time. He slept for a while afterwards and looked a lovely little cherub in the hospital crib with his soft toy and star cushion and light starry muslin cloth that had come with the baby hamper. I took photos and photos of him. He has the perfect nose don't you think?

Little Elliot in his crib

Little Elliot sleeping after his feed

Later he woke up and I was able to pick him up and hold him to me. All I could do was hold him gently, feeling the love. I just couldn't stop looking at this little miracle of life who is my grandson and my darling daughter's baby. Oh what joy.

Me holding and adoring my grandson

Later it was Eladio's turn. I love seeing Elliot with his grandfather who is now "Grandpa" the same way we address my father who of course is now great grandpa hahaha. I was wondering this week what he should be called. There don't seem to be any usual nicknames for great grandfathers so I have come up with Grand papa. 

Eladio holding Elliot in his arms

We stayed for about 2 hours not wanting to wear out poor Oli and Miguel who were exhausted. I also think they must have felt a bit confined at the hospital even though they had a big private room but I'm sure they were dying to go home. Who wouldn't be?

Just as we were leaving, Suzy arrived from her lessons looking gorgeous by the way. She too was delighted to see little Elliot breastfeeding with no difficulty which was a relief for us all as it had taken him a while to get the hang of it. Now he knows, there is no stopping him hahaha.

Suzy stayed on and had dinner with Oli and Miguel but not from the hospital food which is boring and stodgy. We had all taken along ham, fruit, tortilla, etc and that's what they had. Once home we made  a simple dinner of omelet, ham and salad and then it was time for bed and a bit more of our latest series on Netflix called Unbelievable. I went to bed feeling happy and content. Right now I realise that Elliot is the centre of my universe and always will be, together with my family. Right now  it's all about Elliot and nearly everything else pales into comparison. He has stepped right in and taken his place deservedly and oh how we love him already.

Thursday came. We were rewarded with a lovely photo of father and son and given an update on Elliot's night. 

Father and son on Thursday morning, both refreshed from their shower and bath. 

Amazingly he had only woken them twice and slept a whole 4 hours from 4 till 8. I hoped this would continue. I do not wish them sleepless nights with a non stop crying baby. So far there have been good nights and bad.

Our routine has  changed since Elliot was born which is natural. We still went for our walk in the morning and were joined by Suzy. Oli needed me at the hospital for the awe inspiring job of my first babysitting session with my grandson as at midday she and Miguel had to register the new baby with the authorities. They had 72 hours to do it after his birth and Thursday at 14h was the deadline. Before setting off I did some quick food shopping with Eladio just to get things for lunch and in the afternoon we would do the proper weekly shopping. 

I was at the hospital by 12 but it took 10 minutes to find somewhere to park. It's such a huge place. Finally I was in their room and Oli got dressed for the first time since she was admitted to hospital on Monday. I felt so sorry for her having been confined all that time. She was longing to go home. I was left alone with my grandson for 1.5h and it was bliss. I held him in my arms the whole time. He doesn't like being laid down on his back to be dressed or have his nappy changed. All he wants is the comfort of our arms and that's what he got with me. For half the time he was awake and that morning he got his first English lesson. I spoke to him about the family, the world, his parents, what his life could be like and my words were like magic to his ears. I then sang English children's songs such as Twinkle Twinkle little star, Four and twenty black birds and recited the few nursery rhymes I remember such as Humpty Dumpty and This little pig went to market. While I sang he listened and then fell asleep. I nearly fell asleep too. It was a wonderful bonding moment with Elliot and I loved every minute of it. When Oli and Miguel came back to announce Elliot was an official new member of society, my daughter, delighted with my babysitting, took this photo of me with her baby. I look all wrinkly but I love it.

During my first baby sitting session with Elliot on Thursday

I said above it's difficult to describe my feelings. Suzy put it in a nutshell when she posted this photo on Instagram with these words: "I couldn't imagine the feeling until you arrived". Neither could I. 

Aunty Suzy with Elliot in her arms summed up her feelings about his arrival. 

In the afternoon, Oli announced they were being discharged and going home at about 5 in the afternoon. We thought they would want their peace and time alone but my daughter  insisted the three of us come that night for moral support. We were more than happy to oblige and would take dinner with us as no doubt they would be without provisions.

Elliot's first time in a car was duly reported with a photo of him strapped into his car seat. His legs are so long as you can see. Here he is not quite sure what is happening.

Elliot going home

He didn't like it at the beginning and started crying. He stopped when Miguel found a classical baby song playlist on Spotify. He does like music like most babies I suppose. Later I looked for English baby songs and sent a list to Oli. He must be brought up to speak English. It will bring him a greater advantage in life I know. 

Once home for the first time and after a feed he was put into his new cot and adjusted well by going to sleep for a few hours allowing his parents time to unpack and wind down. Oli was feeling hurt from the damned stitches, etc and a little tired. Here he is in his own cot asleep. Isn't he an angel?

Elliot in his own cot and sleeping in it for the first time

When we got there he was awake and feeding. His feeds last a whole hour and they are a sight to watch. That is maternity at its most beautiful. Soon afterwards he fell straight asleep and was put back into his cot with his musical dim light device or contraption which plays gentle music and projects stars on the ceiling above his head.  Here is the little mite already dozing off.

Our little angel

Thus we were able to have a quiet dinner together which Suzy and I made. Oli and Miguel were dying for nice healthy food after the hospital stodge and we obliged. We served fresh fish, salad and gazpacho followed by pineapple and berries.

I think Elliot wanted his "pudding" too as just at that moment he woke up suddenly and started crying and just wouldn't stop. And there we were saying he hardly cried and was a quiet little boy. We thought he had a colic but it turned out he wanted more feeding hahaha. Oli fed him for a further half an hour and then he went straight to sleep again.

We left reluctantly at around 10.30 to come home and go to bed ourselves. We were greeted by the dogs. I think poor Pippa is feeling a little neglected since Elliot's arrival. I must make up for that poor thing. 

While Elliot was going home from the hospital on Thursday, my dear friend Fátima was being operated. That afternoon she was applied a drastic treatment of chemoembolization on her kidneys, the first of three operations. It was a two hour operation but ended successfully. I would go and see her the next day. It would be very different visiting a cancer ward vs a maternity ward. What a fighter my friend is. 

Friday came and after our walk, Eladio and I drove to the Rey Juan Carlos gleaming new hospital in nearby Móstoles to visit my friend. She was in bed and looking much better than I expected. The operation had gone well but she has had a lot of pain, so much so they have to give her "Tromadol" which is an opioid and similar to morphine. It was good to see her and soon her brother came and more friends. Thus after an hour or so we made our exit. As soon as the pain has receded, she will be going home and I wish her a speedy recovery.

We then drove to Oli's GP in Villaviciosa to pick up her maternity leave document which she had to send to her employer, RTVE. Afterwards we had a nice cup of coffee in a café and sat outside. The weather was good in the morning although a huge storm was forecast for the afternoon. It wouldn't come until much later that night.

Luckily for me that day, Lucy made the lunch with my instructions, thus when we got home everything was ready. She really is a treasure and my father thinks so too.

The afternoon was spent quietly. I was reading while Eladio mowed the lawn and Suzy was out teaching. We all went to Oli's place again for dinner armed with food from home, including Lucy's tortilla.  At my demand, my daughter had sent me a little picture of dear Elliot in his cot. He is looking more beautiful every day and no longer looks red and wrinkled as all new born babies do. 

Little Elliot in his cot on Friday, just 4 days old.

As we arrived, Miguel's parents were leaving. Of course they are just as anxious to see their new grandchild which is totally understandable. Like us, they had brought food for the new family who have little time to cook.

Soon Suzy was there and just as she arrived the baby woke up and she went straight to his cot to pick him up and cuddle him. Here they are together.

Elliot with his Auntie Suzy

That morning Oli had received another Naranjas de la China hamper, this one from Cristina, Gloria and Bea from my events agency, QuintaEsencia. It was beautiful and luckily only had one repeat element from the hamper we had sent, the starry patterned muslin cloth which Oli loves and needs anyway. This was the hamper which contained a teddy bear, a little cushion, the muslin cloth, some chocolate and a vase of fresh flowers, all in a lovely basked which she uses for Elliot's nappies. 

The hamper "the girls", Cris, Bea and Gloria sent to Oli

Being the good boy he is, Elliot let us have our dinner sleeping peacefully and only woke up after we had finished when he wanted another feed. With Suzy's help, Oli settled down on the sofa with him and I had to have this lovely scene of my daughters with Elliot on camera. I can hardly believe they are now a mother and and aunt. How time has flown. 

The two sisters, our daughters, with Elliot. I can hardly believe they are now a mother and an aunt

I had an interesting conversation with Oli in the morning. She was thanking me for all our help to which I replied she didn't have to thank me as that's what mothers are for. I said that now she is a mother she can finally understand what a mother's love means and that I love her and Suzy just as much as she loves Elliot. She totally agreed that this was only possible for her to understand now that she is a mother herself. Thus when I hear women say they don't want to have a baby, they do not know what they are saying as only when you have one do you understand. 

Just as I had taken the photo above, a thunderstorm began. When we had set off from home, Eladio commented he had read the Civil Guard had warned people to think twice before they used their car on Friday because of the storm. But nothing was stopping me from going to see Elliot so we went. But due to the storm we had to leave early at around 9 pm when it began to look threatening. We had to run to our cars as by then it was raining hard. It would rain even harder on our journey home and was a little scary. Thankfully it was over by the time we got back. It was a bit like a storm in a tea cup but of course could have been worse. But it was no storm in a tea cup in other areas of Spain such as Gerona or Albacete which were completely flooded.

Saturday came and we were able to go on our walk before the rain reappeared. The morning was busy. We had to get ready for our new guests, 3 young Indians and a Dutch girl -  delightful couples who came hoping to use the pool and barbecue despite the weather. Well it did rain all afternoon and even so they were in and out of the water believe it or not.

We heard from Oli that they had had their worst night since Elliot was born. He seems to think night is day and day is night and poor Oli and Miguel get very little sleep. Sometimes they fall asleep with him. Oli sent me a photo of her partner and their baby sleeping together. He prefers body contact to his cot unfortunately. No doubt the first month is always the most difficult when a new baby comes into one's life.

Elliot and Miguel sleeping during the day

Elliot likes his food too. At 4 kilos he seems to want to eat all the time and for long periods. Here he is with his mother suckling away. Poor Oli says she loves it but feels like a cow hahaha. Well, that is nature. Perhaps Elliot has taken after his father. He told us that when he was little all he wanted to do was eat and would cry in between spoonfuls not liking the gap in between eating hahaha.

Elliot feeding

She looks beautiful although of course she is still ravaged from the long and difficult birth she experienced on Monday.

Yesterday the end of the umbilical cord fell which is quite quick after only 4 or 5 days of life. Here is Oli showing the evidence.

Oli and Elliot 

On Saturday we only saw Elliot through photos. We had been going every day to their flat and the young couple and their baby need their space. However I think they are coming today for lunch and finally my father will set eyes on his great grandson.

Saturday was an important day for Elliot's future although he didn't know it. Led by the 16 year old Swedish girl, Greta Thunberg who was in the HQ of the UN in New York to talk at the first global young people's summit on climate change, a series of mass demonstrations took place around the globe. They are campaigning for the worlds' leaders to reverse the dangers and take action now. This young girl who started her campaign a few years ago by skipping school on Fridays and demonstrating outside her country''s parliament week in, week out, has amazingly made her voice heard and globally too. Good for her. If it takes school children to give governments a lesson, then they need to do their homework.

Greta Thunberg in a photo from a past climate change demonstration. She is doing so much good for the world

So, no we didn't see Elliot and we had a very quiet day. It rained all afternoon and I spent the time reading with the dogs while our guests were on the rather cool terrace by the pool.

We had dinner with Suzy - my favourite; prawn and mango salad - then it was time for bed. We didn't find anything enthralling to watch on Netflix or Amazon Prime and so we we switched off our light quite early last night.

This morning I was up at 5.45 and tried to sleep on but my mind was too awake to stay in bed so I got up. Today we will have a big family lunch and Elliot will be coming to our house for the first time. I can't wait to see my father's face when he sees him. No doubt there will be lots of photos to share. So I shall be boring you with more stories about my dearest little grandson from now until I am no longer here as he has become, as I wrote above, the centre of my universe.

Today is the first day of autumn and it will be an autumnal day too I think. It is raining now and I just hope it clears later so that we can go on our walk.

Now my friends I have come to the end of this week's blog where I have reported on the most exciting news in many years - the birth of our first grandson Elliot. I can only wish him a happy life and many moments with his family.

Cheers my friends till next Sunday
Masha