Time with Suzy in Santa Pola after leaving the hospital, celebrating our 41st wedding anniversary at La Finca, home again and other stories of the week.

 Madrid, Sunday, 25th August, 2024

On our 41st wedding anniversary in Santa Pola

Good morning again.

Life always continues after a storm if you survive it and it seems we have for the moment. If you read my post last Sunday from Santa Pola, you will know that Suzy was discharged from the psychiatric ward at the General Hospital in Elche on the Friday.  You will know also that she was diagnosed with persistent delusional disorder. 

We spent a few days with her after leaving the hospital to help her gently ease back into the fold of our family and to begin her life again. She is on anti psychotic medication and will begin therapy this Tuesday. Our daughter is now 40 and although we can give her all the support in the world, we cannot police her constantly to make sure she is taking her meds and not smoking marijuana. It is this seemingly not so benign drug that most possibly triggered the disorder. She seemed a lot calmer and actually spent some time with us; more than usual. 

We also enjoyed the apartment together in August thanks to the air conditioning we finally put in this month. 

We even went down to the beach one morning with her and we all swam. I didn't get a good picture but I got one of my dear daughter in the sea. It was good to see her enjoying herself.

Suzy having an early morning bathe in Santa Pola this week. 

We had several heart to hearts which did us both good. Slowly she is realising that some of her beliefs - not all of them - are delusional. She also admitted what I feared most, that she suffered immensely while really believing the world was out to get her or that people wanted to poison her. She even admitted one of the reasons she didn't want to seek help was the stigma. My family are now way past that stage, including Suzy who gave me permission to write about her mental health issues. We all agree there is nothing to hide or to be ashamed of. I remember years ago when cancer or Aids used to be taboo illnesses. Thankfully they no longer are and it should be the same with mental health. Olivia, my other daughter, even thinks I should campaign for there to be less stigma and more help, especially for families of sufferers who have their hands tied to get help for their loved ones when it is against their will. Only when a real tragedy happens can the medical services get involved and that is how Suzy finally got treatment. But we had to wait years for that to happen while we watched her deteriorate further and further. That's where society has to change. I wonder if you agree.

She was a lot calmer and up to joining us on outings which weren't just shopping. Before, she hardly left the flat because she was so afraid. It was her idea to drive to the Fountains of Algar - near Callosa where my parents bought a ramshackle house in the early 70's in Franco's Spain. That was a wonderful trip down memory lane. We have been countless times but going there still brings it all back; my beginnings in Spain. We had lunch at Casa Marcos where Eladio and I started going out in the summer of 1980. There we had a marvelous rice dish, typical of the area. This is it.

Arroz Señoret at Casa Marcos at Fuentes de Algar

I had another heart to heart this week in Santa Pola. It was with my dear Polish/Swedish friend, Magda. Her parents have the apartment opposite ours on the same floor. We first met 3 years ago and reconnected this year. We were both very busy with our respective families so I was grateful to Magda for making time for tea with me (and wine for her hahaha) the afternoon before she returned to cold and cloudy Stockholm.  

We did shopping for Suzy, had coffee out and generally spent a quiet time together, always reminding her to take her meds - I'm so frightened she won't - which she seemed to do, apart from a hiccup at the beginning of the week. Their full effect won't kick in for another two weeks or so, but they are already making her calmer. But we are still walking on eggshells and at times it feels we are on a roller coaster. It takes time for us all to adjust. 

Olivia and family, meanwhile, have returned to Montrondo which they describe as a ghost village as most people have left. During the year only 11 people live there and it only gets full in the summer with people who are from the village but live elsewhere. Towards the second half of August many have left, including most of Elliot and Juliet's cousins. Oli sent me photos of them on their bikes and by the river in Murias where they bathed. 

Olivia and family in Montrondo again this week

Wednesday was a very special day, our 41st wedding anniversary and I had booked a table at La Finca, a one Michelin star restaurant near Elche. I have been a few times and if I could, I would eat there once a week. 

That day I reflected on our marriage which has had no ups or downs. It's pretty incredible but I think we are both as much in love today as the day we got married; 21st August 1983. This was us on that day, one of the happiest in our lives. 

On our wedding day and with our whole married life ahead of us - Madrid, 21st August 1983

No way could either of us have imagined that we would still be together so many years later. I didn't know it but at that moment I was already pregnant with dear Suzy who was born in April 1984. And then there was Olivia to come and we formed a family and grew together.  We got good jobs, bought houses and now we are retired and trying to enjoy our twilight years, despite everything. We were 26 and 38 (nearly 39) and today we are 67 and nearly 80. How young we looked in the wedding photo posted above. But I do like to think we have aged gracefully. Oh to be young again without all the wrinkles and signs of old age which are so ugly. 

 I always consider I won the lottery of marriage. We both did. We are different in many, many ways, but we have the same values and still respect, admire and love each other while giving each other space. Space is important. We are often in the house together, like today but we are both doing our own thing. We come together to do errands, go on walks (not many lately), to do the shopping and of course have meals together as well as go on holiday. We have fulfilled our wedding vows, especially the most important, "for better or for worse". When the going gets tough as it has now, we face things together and support each other. May we celebrate many more wedding anniversaries. It now looks like we might make it to our 50th. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

I only had 3 dresses to choose from as I had only brought 3 of them to Santa Pola as I hastily packed our suitcase when we rushed there to be with Suzy. I chose the red and white dress I bought at a market in Ostuni (Puglia, Italy) on our road trip in May which now feels like such a long time ago after all that has happened. Suzy took photos of us ready to go out including the one I have chosen as this week's feature photo.  

La Finca is a very special place and quite expensive too but really worth it. I love the building and gardens but am a bit unhappy they no longer serve dinner on the beautiful terrace with so much foliage. 

La Finca from the outside

The bridge to the garden

Once inside we took a while to choose the long or short tasting menu and in the end went for the short one which was quite enough I can tell you. We were in for a wonderful gastronomic and luxurious evening which I thought we both deserved after such a black period in our life. We both agree, come what may, we have to carry on.

About to enjoy our anniversary dinner at La Finca (Elche - Alicante) this week

I love tasting menus of creative food I could never ever make at home. Eladio has his doubts and is more a two course man but he also thoroughly enjoyed our dinner at La Finca. Here are some photos to make your mouth water or maybe put La Finca on your bucket list if you are a foodies because this is definitely a foodie's paradise.

My tasting menu at La Finca this week

The food was divine and the bread was a creation in itself. We were home by about 11.30 and dear Suzy was waiting up for us. I felt a bit guilty for not taking her but it was our night really so Eladio told me not to be.

The next day was Thursday, the day we had decided to leave. We would have liked to stay until Suzy had her first appointment with her new psychiatrist but she didn't want us to go with her or even drive her there as she wants to work out the buses herself. Hopefully, she will get on with her and we will hear all about it.

Just before we left, at Suzy's request, her father opened a coconut she had bought - Suzy is very much into natural food. I took a photo of her looking happy and feeling at peace drinking the wonderful juice on our little terrace. I just wish she wasn't so thin but hopefully she will now eat more and gain a bit of weight as 7 stone is far too little. Finally this week she let me take a photo of her which has been very much a no no recently apart from when she was at the hospital.

Suzy enjoying natural coconut juice

She gave me a bit of a scare before we left. When I woke up that morning I saw she had packed a suitcase. Where on earth was she going? I was worried stiff. She explained, rather irrationally that her tarot card readings that morning had told her she would be going on a journey and to pack a suitcase to be ready for it.  Where on earth to? She said it wasn't now but she must be prepared. This was an obvious delusion which later she commented she would be telling her therapist about. Suzy says she is "guided" and by guided she means that God talks to her through the tarot cards which for me are the occult but for her are the most important thing in her life. She cannot make any decisions before consulting the damn cards.  I hope one day she will leave them aside as for now she is a puppet of her readings, even for the most insignificant things. 

We left at around 10.30 feeling a little worried as you can imagine. When will the fear and worry go away I ask myself? When she gets better and she is on the right path. I pray and hope she stays on it.

Our journey was swift and uneventful. We only stopped for a coffee and a snack and were home by 3.15. Tana was waiting for us and the table was laid for lunch, bless her. The house was quiet with only one guest. Thus I had the pool to myself that afternoon. We did some quick food shopping to stock our beautiful and enormous new fridge with essentials such as gazpacho and coconut yoghurt, hahaha.

On Friday Eladio told me to get off my backside and join him for an early morning walk before it got too hot. With all that has been going on, we have stopped our walks and we must continue. It was great and not too hot either although it would get a lot hotter later. I went to the hairdresser to do my roots and walked out without drying it.

Tana went off for the weekend that day instead of Saturday as we had a a whole load of guests coming to use the pool. 

That afternoon I booked a suite at the Hotel Landa near Burgos to celebrate Eladio's 80th birthday in September. We love that place where we often stop for lunch or a coffee but have never stayed there. It will be another thing to look forward to. He doesn't want a party, just a get away somewhere not too far from Madrid. His wish will be fulfilled at the Landa.

Saturday was busy. I had a group of 14 people coming to use the pool for someone else's 80th birthday. They had booked on the Swimmy platform which I don't use much as normally the house is too full of Airbnb guests to rent out the pool. I did have guests that day; just two young men; Povilas from Lithuania who is becoming part of the furniture and Kemal who drove all the way from Paris, non stop, on his impressive motorbike. Thus that afternoon we stayed inside. I was basically waiting for the group to go at 8 pm. 

But there was time yesterday morning for errands - Eladio took the car to fill it with oil and I went to be pampered at the local nail bar, De Uñas in Boadilla.  I also had my eyebrows dyed as well as my eyelashes which I  had "lifted".That was a horrible and tortuous process and  I am not doing it again. My nails look nice,despite my old and wrinkled hands. Notice I am wearing my mother's lovely and unique turquoise engagement ring. They bought it second hand and one day it will probably belong to Juliet, my soon to be 4 year old granddaughter. I love it. 

My newly polished nails

Today is Sunday and for the third day in a row we went on an early morning walk at 8.15.It was only 20ºc this morning - what a relief - but will reach 34ºc later today. I will definitely be in the pool this afternoon to make the most of it while I can.

A lot has been going on this week on the news front but these days we don't watch the news much - we have been too embroiled in our own family drama. But as a recap, Kamala Harris, the Democrat Presidential candidate seems to be holding her own against Donald Trump - pray and hope she wins. This weekend a man stabbed and killed people in a town in Germany, an act claimed by the horrible Islamic State. And last night Israel bombed Lebanon while Hezbollah fired rockets. The Ukraine is now more in the news as their army attacks Russian territory, something new in the crisis between the two countries. But the biggest news was of a super yacht sinking in Sicily, Titanic style. It was owned by a mega rich British entrepreneur, Mike Lynch, who I had never heard of.  No one understands how this super yacht sank so quickly while nearby boats survived the storm undamaged. There will be an investigation. 

Today though will be a quiet day after our own particular storm which I know we will somehow survive. 

And on that note, let me wish you a happy Sunday. Cheers till next week,

Masha